


DECEMBER

by Introvertia



Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: Anal Sex, Angst, Billy's GAY, Boys Kissing, Christmas, Comfort Food, Fluff and Angst, Gratuitous Opossum, Homophobic Language, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, M/M, Post Season 3, Snow, Steve's Bi, Underage Drinking, glasses!Steve
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-26
Updated: 2019-12-26
Packaged: 2021-02-26 09:54:15
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 28,348
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21967405
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Introvertia/pseuds/Introvertia
Summary: Steve hasn't seen Billy since the 4th of July, but that changes on a cold night in December when he goes to Lake Jordan looking for a monster and finds more than he bargained for. The two start building a friendship, but Steve knows he wants more.
Relationships: Billy Hargrove/Steve Harrington
Comments: 25
Kudos: 246





	DECEMBER

**Author's Note:**

  * For [flippyspoon](https://archiveofourown.org/users/flippyspoon/gifts).



**December**

**Part 1**

**Headaches**

Steve had been getting headaches, bad ones. First he blamed the weather. Steve’s Grandpa Otis used to say the weather hurt his bones, so Steve figured the cold was the cause of his headaches, what was his skull, if not one big bone, he reasoned. He refused to wear hats though, it would mess up his hair.

Then, Steve had a long strange conversations with Keith about how movie fights were too fake. Keith went on at length complaining that films never really show the effects of head trauma. Steve wondered why Keithknew so much about head injuries but was afraid to ask, not that he could have gotten a word in edgewise. Midway through listening to Keith’s diatribe about the lasting damage of concussions Steve decided his headaches were because of the Russians, he figured between his November fight with Billy, now over a year ago, and the Russians smacking him around last July,his egg had to be pretty well scrambled and it only made sense it hurt so often.

His headaches began to run like clockwork, usually starting around five in the evening, he was thankful at the very least he never woke up with one.He started taking aspirin everyday, but they didn’t really do much to help.

Robin had given Steve a copy of the Left Hand of Darkness, it was an early Christmas present. It looked weird, but Steve was intrigued. Early in the morning before work Steve put on a pot of coffee and made some toast and sat down to read at the wide dining room table. He liked the light in there and it was far more spacious than sitting at his desk. He’d forgotten it was Saturday and was surprised as well as disappointed when his father sat down at the table across from him dressed in his velour track suit and penny loafers, his dad had that newspaper in one hand and a steaming cup of coffee in the other. Steve sat silently waiting for his dad to start grilling him about work, about his prospects for a better job, about going to trade school or some other topic that would make Steve wish he could melt through the floor, but his father just started reading. Steve felt his shoulders drop a little and he focused on his book, he was quickly getting sucked in to the alien worlds and cultures that populated it.

Steve was startled when his father clear his throat, it meant he had something to say and Steve better pay attention. Steve looked up at his father and sighed setting down his paperback.

“Le Guin.” His father said.

“Yeah, uh, Robin gave it to me.” Steve looked at the cover and back at his father.

“A woman that gives books as gifts.” His father stated and nodded approvingly.

“Yeah, she’s a good friend.” Steve mumbled, he looked around, “Where’s mom?”

“Oh, she’s out Christmas shopping, she left early, wanted to have breakfast with Karen. I think she’s got ideas, about you and Nancy.”

“What?” Steve looked around, “We broke up ages ago.” Steve frowned.

“Look son, your mother likes Nancy, I don’t blame her. The Wheelers are good people, I don’t know much about the Buckleys.”

“Robin is good people, and we’re only friends, I’ve said that like a million times.” Steve looked down at his book, he wanted to get up and leave but he worried his father would get annoyed with him. Ever since Steve finished high school it was like he was walking on eggshells, he was genuinely surprised his father hadn’t kicked him outof the house. Steve was sure he only still lived there because of his mother, she would never let his father kick him out, he hoped. Steve heard his father reopen his newspaper and took that as a good sign that the conversation was over and slowly refocused on his book, he managed to get through a couple more pages before his father interrupted him again.

Do you get headaches?” His father asked.

“Yeah, I do.” Steve nodded looking at his father suspiciously, wondering how he knew.

“Mm-hm.” His father nodded.

“Put these on.” His father took off his spectacles and held them out for Steve to take.

“What? Why?” Steve took them and put them on, and looked at his dad expectantly.

“Now read your book.” His father instructed.

“If this is a reading test, I can actually read, dad.”

“Don’t be a smart ass, go on. Look at the words, read a sentence.” Mr Harrington tapped the paperback impatiently. Steve sighed and picked it up and opened it to a random page.

“ _I’ve come with a question for the Fortellers_.” Steve read aloud.

“You’re not squinting.” His dad said smugly.

“What?” Steve looked at his dad and then reached up and quickly pulled off his father’s glasses.

“You need glasses kiddo, it’s the Harrington curse, I’m surprised you didn’t need them sooner.”

Steve handed his father back the borrowed glasses.

“Don’t look so grim, here, go to the optometrist near Melvald’s, and get your eyes checked, order some glasses.” His father reached pulled out a credit card and tossed it at Steve.

“Okay.” Steve said sadly.

“Count that as your Christmas gift.” His dad put his glasses on and picked up the paper and disappeared behind a wall of black and white advertisements for holiday sale specials and deep discounted cars.

_____________________________________________________________________________________

**Part 2**

**TheMonster of Lake Jordan**

“There’s a lake monster, I’m telling you. It’s a fact. My dad told me about it, he would never make that kind of thing up, it’s like I don’t know, impossible for him it make things up, he has zero imagination.”

Lucas had walked ahead of them and was looking at the cold sunlight bouncing off the surface of the water he looked back over his shoulder and squinted skeptically at Mike and Dustin.

“What kind of monster?” Dustin asked.

Dustin walked along the dock, he had his ball cap sitting atop of his wild curls and his skin was starting to itch winter always made his skin feel dry, he leaned over and scratched at his knee where there was a hole in his jeans.

The boards creaked and bowed beneath the trios’ feet, the weathered wood was worn and ancient looking, the little dock was twenty-five feet out and narrow.

“It’s like a man, like the creature from the black lagoon.” Mike followed them both staying exactly in the middle of the pier so he wasn’t too close to the edges.

“That’s bullshit.” Lucas moved all the way down to the end, and peered into the dark lake water, he saw a foggy white shape zip along and then dive deep.

“I mean, there’s a lot of folklore about lakes having monsters, I guess the Loch Ness monster would be the most famous.” Dustin offered.

“That’s in Scotland, we don’t have lake monsters here in America.” Lucas sat on the end of the pier and let his toes of his booted feet disturb the surface of the dark water.

“We do have snapping turtles.” Mike said watching Lucas, “and Pikes too, they’ll bite your toes right off.”

“Man, that’s not true.” Lucas said moving his feet away from the water folding his legs underneath himself nonchalantly.

“I mean, it’s December, maybe the turtles are hibernating, but the Pikes are probably looking for food.” Mike shrugged.

“There’s the lake monster in Rochester, I forget what they call it though and it’s totally bogus, but you know, we do have lake monsters in American too, it’s not just Scotland.” Dustin frowned, “I mean, it’s all hokum.”

The sound of someone walking up the pier made all three of the boys heads turn, Max was walking towards them, her hair bright in the dying sunlight, her face laced with freckles, she squinted her bright eyes at the three of them, making her look particularly dangerous.

“Thanks for all your help guys.” Max said sarcastically.

Max’s rubber boots flapped loosely around her slim calves, she had a bucket in one hand and net in the other.

“You said you had it.” Lucas got up and walked towards her.

“Now he’s in trouble.” Mike mumbled.

“Yeah, he should date a girl from out of state, it makes life so much simpler.” Dustin laughed.

“As in I can catch them, but I still need help carrying them. What are you all doing?” Max slowed her pace lugging her heavy bucket and looked at the placid lake water,“I’m surprised the lake hasn’t started freezing over.”

“No, now way, it’s not cold enough. The lake almost never freezes over, at least not till late January.” Mike quickly took the bucket from her, she’d caught about a half dozen minnows, they were small and getting sloshed around in three inches of murky lake water.

“Mike thinks there’s a lake monster.” Dustin offered helpfully.

“There _is_ a lake monster.” Mike said exasperatedly.

“Hey guys it’s three thirty, my mom’s going to be upset if we’re not at the picnic area when she drives over to pick us up.” Dust announced looking at his watch.

“You know pretty soon I’m going to have a car.” Lucas said confidently.

“You don’t even have you a permit yet.” Mike grumbled.

“I have a plan, unlike the rest of you. I’ve been saving, and my dad lets me drive to the market sometimes, so I’m getting in good practice.” Lucasannounced proudly.

Lucas took the bucket from Mike and took Max’s hand in his as they started making their way to back up the dock. Max idly whipped her small fish net in the air sending small droplets of water flying. She turned her head looking at the lake and wondered how a monster would get there, she didn’t like the idea of it at all.

“So what’s the story about the lake monster?” Max looked over at Mike.

“I don’t want to talk about it if you guys are just going to be jerks.” Mike said.

“We’re not being jerks, we’re being realistic.” Dustin turned back to the lake and skipped a stone across the glassy surface, it made three skips before sinking.

“There’s a monster in the lake, it’s like part man and part fish, or something. It drowned three kids back in ’49. My dad said he knew one of them or something, I don’t know he only told me the story once, he hates camping and he hates Lake Jordan.”

“Have you ever looked it up, you know, like a the library?” Max asked watching Mike.

“Why?” Mike asked irritably.

“Well there’s going to be records, or like news articles or something.” Max shrugged.

“He doesn’t want to go to the library because he has a thing for the librarian.” Lucas crowed.

“That was in fifth grade, you dick-wad.” Mike snapped.

“Marissa? I could see that.” Max smirked.

“Look, I believe my dad. I mean if you want to look it up go ahead, but he’s, he’s not the kind of person that makes stuff like that up.” Mike’s eyes were cast down, he looked sad to Max.

“I bet they did drown and people just made up the monster.” Lucas said matter of factly.

“We all know monsters are real.” Max stated.

************

When they were all squeezed in the car the discussion of the Lake Jordan Monster was on everyone’s mind, but Dustin had banned them from speaking about anything too spooky around his mom. Lucas kept quiet about till they were on his street.

“Mrs Henderson, do you remember anything about the Lake Jordan Monster?” Lucas looked at Dustin who had twisted around so fast in the front passenger he startled his mother.

“Oh my goodness, that was ages ago.” Mrs Henderson said.

“What was?” Max asked.

Max, Mike and Lucas all leaned forward from the back seat of the car.

“Well it was a few years before I moved to Hawkins, I was raised in Indianapolis, you know.” She glanced at the group in her rearview mirror.

“There were stories about some kids drowning, and then you know how tales get taller and taller as the years go by. Some of the locals would swear that they’d seen things, or some one in the water. I mean, I’m certain some kids drowned there, swimming off season or something, it’s dangerous, swimming in lakes. You kids didn’t go swimming did you?”

“No” The quartet chorused.

“Well, as far as I remember there were three boys that went swimming, or maybe four, and only one of them came back, and the story was he swore there was a monster and it had drowned his friends. People just cope with shock in strange ways, you know, try to find reasons for why bad things happen. Sometimes bad things just happen.” She trailed off as she pulled over the car in front of the Sinclair house, it was Lucas’ stop.

“What kind of monster?” Max asked.

“Oh a fisherman or something, isn’t that silly? Maybe they’d just seen the Creature From the Black Lagoon?” She chortled softly.

_____________________________________________________________________________________

**Part 3**

**Not My Brother’s Keeper**

Max woke up at three in the morning, she flung her blankets off and got out of bed.She turned on the light above the fish tank that she’d set up for her science project, the dull colored fish that she’d caught earlier that day were swimming slowly. The cold slowed them down, but they seemed more active now than they had when she’d got them in the reeds of the lake, when the light hit them just so they had little stripes of iridescent yellow on their sides. Max sighed and decided to do a loop of the house, feeling restless and a little anxious after Mike’s talk about the lake monster, but it had to be fake, she told herself it wasn’t real. They knew real monsters and that wasn’t one of them.

She wandered around the house from room to room entering each one except her parent’s. All the rooms were still and quiet, there was moonlight pouring in the windows and she could hear her stepfather snoring when she passed her parent’s bedroom in the hallway. She went to the front door and unlocked it and stepped out onto the porch and peered up and down the street, the stars were out and shining coldly. Across the way Mills family had left their Christmas lights on, the house looked safe and warm, their glowing Santa looked a little lonely out there, a tiny sentinel at the porch, Max mused. The air was damp and she took a deep breath before turning around and going back in the house and locking the door. She was on her way back to her bedroom, when she heard her name. Max jumped and looked over her shoulder, her mother was there, her hair loose, she was dressed in her white nightgown.

“What are you doing up?” Her mother asked in a whisper.

“I don’t know, I just woke up.” Max mumbled.

“Do you want some mint tea?” Her mother asked.

“Yes, please.” Max nodded. 

Max would wake from time time at odd hours feeling lost, feeling the absents of Billy, she thought it might be made worse because El and Will had moved away too, she was feeling like her anchors were slowly being cut from her life and sending her adrift.

El was her only female friend and as much as she loved Lucas, he was just a boy, and it wasn’t his fault, but he didn’t get a lot of things the El did, she understood about a lot of things, in her awkward way. Max didn’t miss Will the same way she missed El, but she did miss him, he was fun to be around, when he was having a good day, he seemed to have a lot of bad days, but he’d been getting better and better over time.

As Max wandered into the kitchen trailing her mother, she tried to picture Billy, the way he’d been before the Mind-Flayer, cocksure and menacing, full of bravado and so dangerous, a mean streak a mile wide and even when he had moments of kindness it felt loaded, like a bomb that could blow up at any seconde. She asked herself why she missed him, but never could come up with a satisfactory answer. Max watched as her mother set the kettle on the stove and and got down the box of tea.

“You get up at night often. I hear you, you know. I usually just go back to sleep,” Max’s mother said as she sat down at the kitchen table across from her daughter.

“Yeah, I don’t know why…” Max looked at the table and moved the pepper shaker next to the salt, and pushed the napkins into a neater stack. “Sometimes I miss Billy, but I don’t know why, I mean he was such a jerk to me, like all the time…” Max said softly.

“It’s strange,” her mom said her voice sad, “You never know who you’ll miss till they’re gone, it’s not fair, but it’s true.”

It was said without judgement and Max had to agree that it was a strange way to feel.

_____________________________________________________________________________________

**Part 4**

**Chicken!**

“Mike’s convinced there’s a monster in Lake Jordan.” Dustin said as he walked into Family Video.

“Wait, what?” Steve set down the VHS tapes that were stacked under his arm and leaned forward “Like a demo-thing or a flayer?” Steve whispered.

“No, no. Like a fishman or something. It drowned two kids back in the forties, I looked it up at the library.” Dustin picked up one the tapes that Steve had set down and read the title and made a face and set it down.

“There’s news article about a fishman that lives in Lake Jordan?” Steve looked alarmed, “My parents never told me about that, no one did, not even Grampa Otis.”

“No Steve, no. Stay with me. My mom said it was just a drowning, and I did find an article about two teenagers that drowned in September of ’49, and my mom said that people were probably just making stuff up or like they saw the Creature From the Black Lagoon.”

“No.” Steve interrupted.

“No what?” Dustin folded his arms.

“The Creature from the Black Lagoon came out in 1954, so they couldn’t have seen that movie.” Steve walked down the isles towards the horror section and picked up a VHS box off the shelf and flipped it over to point out the date on the box.

“Okay, she came to Hawkins later alright? Why do you even know that?” Dustin asked irritably.

“It’s my job Dustin, I’m a purveyor of fine home entertainment, cinematic experiences to each and every taste can be obtained at Family Video, as long as it’s not too risqué and I have expanded my knowledge of all things film.” Steve smiled.

“Yeah. So, anyways.” Dustin responded.

“So they couldn’t have been thinking of the creature from the Black Lagoon!” Steve yelled triumphantly.

“Oh my god, what’s happening over here? This is your fault Dustin. Steve was focused for an entire ten minutes and then you waltz in and now he’s ranting about the Creature from the Black Lagoon.” Robin rested her elbow on a shelf and shook her head looking at Steve.

“There’s a monster, okay a rumor, there was a rumor about a monster that hunts in Lake Jordan.”

“Oh yeah, my uncle Jimmy used to tell me about that, but you know he called it a Kelpie, but his mom my great aunt Margaret, swore it was a Jenny-Green-teeth.”

“What’s a Kelpie?” Dustin asked.

“Who’s Jenny Greetings?” Steve asked.

“Look boys, my uncle Jimmy is an Irish drunk, like a good old fashioned booze hound, just like my great aunt Margaret, so they told a lot of really weird stories… man uncle Jimmy never got over E.T., it really messed with his head.”

“Did they tell stories about Leprechauns?” Steve teased.

“No, but they did talk about the monster of Lake Jordan.” Robin folded her arms.

“Are they really old, like was your uncle here in forty-nine?” Dustin leaned forward.

“Yeah, he’d been in the army, he finished his tour of duty in forty-six, so he was back here in Hawkins. He swore he’d never leave the country again unless it was feet first or to marry a girl he met in Okinawa.” Robin looked off into the middle distance thinking.

“So he’s still alive?” Dustin asked.

“Oh yeah, he was messed up in the war though.” Robin looked at her watch, “I swear to god this day will not end, it’s like time is standing still.”

“We should look into this guys.” Dustin said seriously.

“Look into an urban legend?” Steve snorted, “Look we all know some monsters, are you know, well you know, but lake monsters, are not.”

“Sorry Dustin, I’m not going to go shake things up with Uncle Jimmy by asking him about the lake monster, he gets really wound up about by things like that.” Robin shrugged.

“What if it’s real?” Dustin complained.

“We are not the local exterminators.” Steve shook his head looking around the shop.

“You’re just _chicken_.” Dustin muttered under his breath.

“What did you just say?!” Steve put his hand on his hips, “you know what I’ve done, I mean, I am not a chicken!” Steve sputtered.

“Okay, okay, we know Steve. Dustin, that’s just real mature.” Robin interjected.

“Sorry. You’re not a chicken.” Dustin admitted.

“You bet I’m not.” Steve walked away with his videos and went behind the counter and sat on the cashier’s stool.

“Well now you’ve done it, he’s pouting.” Robin said.

Dustin watched as Steve unwrapped a tootsie-pop and angrily popped it in his mouth refusing to look in Dustin’s direction.

“I just wanted his help.” Dustin kicked at the carpet.

“Maybe this time we avoid the monsters, especially since they’re not chasing us or trying to eat our friends?” Robin suggested as she patted Dustin’s shoulder.

** ***** *****

Steve closed the shop with Robin, she was talking about something, but he wasn’t really listening. He was too busy arguing with Dustin in his head about all the reasons why he wasn’t a chicken, and that there was no way in hell that the rumors about there being a monster in Lake Jordan could be real. But Steve couldn’t help but keep thinking about Barb, how the last time she’d been seen was by his pool. What if there was something in the lake? What if something had been there lurking in the lakes and rivers in and around Hawkins long before the demogorgon had arrived? He shook his head no, Eleven had closed the gate, twice now, there was no way there was a monster.

“Hey, dingus? You okay?” Robin was poised to turn off the shop lights, keys in her hand.

“What?” Steve looked over, “yeah, yeah, let’s get out of here.” Steve didn’t want to talk about it.

“You’re not still thinking about what Dustin said are you? I mean, all small towns have their boogie men, it’s just a lame tradition to make things up when nothing’s really going on.” Robin hesitated, “I mean, my Great Aunt and my uncle, well, you know, they’re like country bumpkins,backwoods hooch drinking kind of people, I mean they’re not bad people… it’s just their way.” Robin said thoughtfully, “People just get caught up in story telling, you know?”

“Yeah well, no one believed … no one really knew, what was happening here when Will and Barb disappeared, and everyone bought that bullshit about the mall.” Steve said.

“I mean would you believe the truth if you hadn’t been there?” Robin said as she stepped out and waited for Steve to follow before locking the door.

“No, but that’s my point.” Steve said.

“Well it was almost forty years ago, whatever it was must be long gone by now, otherwise a bunch of other people would have drowned. Right?” Robin looked at him with that face she made when she was trying to make a point and Steve wasn’t being logical, which was a face she made often.

“I guess. Do you need a ride home?” Steve looked around for Robin’s bike and saw it chained to its usual lamp-post.

“No, I’m fine and I don’t want to leave it here or drag it in the shop. Besides, next week I’ll be driving my mom’s car, she said it’s too cold for me to keep taking the bike to work.”

Steve stepped forward and hugged Robin gently, “Good night, I’ll see you on Wednesday.”

“Yes, finish that book so we can talk about it!” Robin hugged him back.

Steve got in his car and watched Robin pedal down the street, he waited till she was completely out of sight before driving out of the parking lot.

_____________________________________________________________________________________

**Part 5**

**Monster Hunter**

Steve twisted the dial of the radio scrolling up and down the FM airways searching for something to listen to. He scanned past local news, county tunes, the evangelical station and and a top forty station based in Indianapolis the signal very heavy with static interference. He gave up and turned off the radio. He could just make out the clouds passing overhead in the remnant glow twilight. There were storm clouds rolling in, foretelling of a long dreary winter.

He tapped his fingers impatiently on the steering wheel as he drove. When his home came into sight, he saw the living room lights were aglow, signaling that his parents were home. Steve drove right past his house and leaned his head back on the headrest. The last thing he wanted to do was have another conversation with his father about how Steve was lazy, and didn’t apply himself. Not that they were really conversations, it was more like dad’s monologue on what Steve was doing wrong with his life, that often devolved into the flaws of ‘kids today!’, while Steve sat in miserable silence until he’d had enough and attempted to interject and his father would inevitably tell him he was too sensitive and his mother had spoiled him.

“Maybe I’m just stupid.” Steve said aloud.

Steve headed for Lake Jordan. He wasn’t good at much, he thought, but he was pretty good at fighting monsters. He didn’t really believe Dustin, but it would feel great to tell him that he’d gone to the lake at night and checked things out.

************

Steve parked under tall twisted pines. Steve got out of his car and stretched, his skin immediately crawled with goosebumps. It was much colder by the water than it had been in town. His jacket was in the trunk, so he popped it open and pulled it out, he heard a bottle rolling around in the trunk and pushed aside some clothes and a heavy wool blanket. He’d forgotten all about the bottle of whiskey he’d stolen from his father’s bar.

“Well hello there.” Steve said.

Steve placed the bottle in a deep inside pocket of his jacket and grabbed a flashlight and shoved it in his back pocket. He looked at Nancy’s bat, the nails spiked out in every direction. He shook his head and left the bat behind. It was about a ten minute trudge through brittle dying grass and over uneven ground to get to the dock.

The clouds were blackening the sky, drowning the stars, and smothering the moon. Steve clicked on his flashlight and pointed the weak ring of light on the ground before is his feet. He slowly became aware of the sound of water lapping at the edges of the lake, that and the sound of his own breathing. He walked along the dock’s creaking boards,shining the beam of his flash light along the water’s surface, his sneakered feet falling silently as he moved slower and slower feeling a tension growing in his belly.

“There’s no monster.” He muttered standing on the edge of the dock.

Wind cut across the sky splitting the clouds and rippling the water. The steady gusts rustled the dry branches and bent the long spindly reeds making them whisper and hiss all around Steve. He zipped his jacket up half way the moon, an exposed yellow cat’s eye stared down at him and shined on the bruise colored lake. Steve clicked off his flash light. The lake was bigger than he remembered. He swallowed dryly and twisted the cap off of the whiskey bottle. He took three quick drinks from it and cleared his throat.

He watched the water’s surface, it was an endless black mirror stretching beyond his line of sight, vast and somehow solid looking, for a breath he felt an alarming sense of vertigo and took a half step back from the end of the dock, his heel catching on the uneven boards. He shuffled a bit and then regained his balance.Steve drank silently, his eyes wide as he tried to see in the low yellow light cast by the sliver shaped moon. A threaded line of ripples was moving along the water, it was as fine as a line of twisted fishing wire. Steve held his breath leaning forward. He knelt slowly setting down the bottle, keeping his eyes on the nearly imperceptible motion. He grasped his flashlight and pulled it slowly from his jacket pocket, and clicked it on with shaking fingers. Just as the water was illuminated a snapping turtle raised its Horney head, its alien face split open, it’s beak like a maw gaped briefly before it dove deep into the water.

“Fuck you.” Steve whispered turning off his flashlight.

Steve’s heart was thudding in his chest and he choked out a quick bark of anxious laughter. The wind rolled the curtain of clouds over the moon and left him standing in full dark.

“Shit.” Steve said softly.

He was thankful when the clouds were swept away again and permitting the moon’s weak light to shine on the lake again. He sat lotus on the edge of the dock and sipped whiskey. Briefly he heard the water being disturbed near by and then the lake grew silent agin. Steve sat trying to adjust to near the soundless night. He felt like he was being watched, but knew that was crazy. He thought about the Russians, about Robin, about the kids, about his future, about how he’d like to be asleep in his bed, but then remember going home meant going to sleep and waking up to find his life at the same level of mediocrity he’d left the day before. Steve realized he wasn’t there to fight monsters, not real ones… just the ones that stalked his mind and squeezed his heart.

Steve was lost in his dark cyclone of thoughts when he saw that light was pooling around him, all at once he snapped back to earth and heard the sound of heavy tires cutting across the dried grass and the growling of an engine. Steve stood up and turned around, he was blinded by bright headlights, he threw his arm up shielding his eyes and took a step back nearly tipping into the lake. He heard a door open, he had seen enough to be certain it was a truck, he heard a second door open and then a voice called out.

“Steve Harrington?”

Steve recognized Tommy’s voice loud and hoarse.

“What the hell are you doing out here?” Tommy continued his feet falling heavily across the dock’s warped boards. He was moving quickly.

“What are _you_ doing here?” Steve called back.

Steve shifted his stance and squinted at the passenger side of the truck, looking for Carol’s silhouette but instead saw a shadowy outline of broad shouldered man in a ball cap.

“Who’s that?” A voice with a thick southern drawl, gravely and dense from too many cigarettes asked.

“It’s just Steve. We went to school together.” Tommy said, his tone far from friendly.

“Well hey there _Just-Steve_.” The southerner snarked.

Steve watched Tommy and his companion come into the light, whoever the guy with Tommy was he was built like a brick shit-house.

Steve slipped his bottle in his jacket, his flashlight was still gripped in his opposite hand.

“You waiting for your little girlfriend?” Tommy asked mockingly.

“This chickenshit has a girlfriend? You gotta love small towns, man, if this,” The brick shit-house paused to cough up a wad of dense spit, “faggot can get laid, _shit_.”

“Well she’s not much to look at.” Tommy said.

The man beside Tommy brayed a laugh and coughed a second wad of phlegm and spat in Steve’s direction.

Steve wasn’t about to explain that Robin wasn’t his girlfriend, let alone mention her name, everyone assumed they were dating. Steve was more than ready to get the hell out of there. It didn’t seem likely they were going to let him simply walk away; neither of them looked sober, they were both swaying lightly and Tommy’s mouth was twitching a bit.

“You gonna stand there like a little pussy, what’s a matter _Just-Steve_?” The stranger taunted.

“Steve’s not much of a fighter, Jason, he’s just gonna bend over and take whatever we give him. Aren’t you Steve?” Tommy stepped forward and jammed his index finger in Steve’s chest. Steve felt a rush of heat and fury, all the sorrow that had been making him dizzy with dark thoughts brewed into rage.

“Keep your hands off me, Tommy.” Steve said his voice barely above a whisper.

“What the fuck are you gonna do about it?” Jason hollered and shoved Tommy forward and Tommy pushed Steve back just a fraction. Steve’s feet had been planted and he threw a hard right punch landing it soundly in Tommy’s jaw. Steve darted around them as Tommy fell back into Jason’s arms. Steve’s foot slid on the side of the dock but Steve managed to stay on his feet bounded up the dock, for a second he thought he was free, till an iron grip caught his left shoulder and swung him backward, off the side of the dock splashing into the water.

Steve sank in the icy slick water, he spread his arms wide his feet kicking wildly. When his head broke the surface he heard Tommy cackling wildly. Steve started to swim towards the shore, he felt his foot brush against the silted bottom of the lake.

“Let’s drown the motherfucker.” Jason demanded.

“Forget it. Let’s go.” Tommy said walking backwards towards the truck, his hand on his jaw where Steve had landed a solid punch.

“No way.” Jason moved along the dock tracking Steve like ravenous wolf.

“We’re _not_ drowning him.” Tommy said.

“No one’s gonna save you now, _Just-Steve_!” Jason taunted.

Steve stopped where he was, his body trembling, his breath coming out in shuttering breaths, the water was frigid. He thought about swimming across the lake, but knew he wouldn’t make it. If he swam to a further side they could follow twice as fast on land. Steve started swimming towards the shore, he didn’t have time to think. He was moving diagonally away from the dock. Steve could seen Jason lope off the side of the dock and jump into the reedy shallows moving closer, cutting Steve off from the shore.

Steve refused to believe that he was going to die fighting some guy in the shallows of Lake Jordan, not after everything he’d live through, Russians, the Demogorgon and Demodogs, the Mind Flayer, working with Keith, Steve decided he was too stubborn to die like this.

Steve struggled for footing on the slick bottomed lake, he started moving towards Jason, knowing that if he tried to avoid the big bastard, he’d just wear himself out.

“That’s right, come to poppa!” Jason yelled.

Steve reached into his jacket and grasped the neck of the whiskey bottle, it wasn’t very big or particularly heavy since he’d drank a good portion of its contents, but if he hit Jason hard enough he could buy himself some time, maybe even enough to escape.

Steve faked left and went right trying to move quickly in shin-high water, the shallows weren’t easy to maneuver, he tried to use it to his advantage and dove forward when Jason threw out his arm trying to close-line him. Steve twisted as he leapt and landed on his side in the reeds and muddy water, he scrambled forward on his hands and knees only to be jerked back. Jason had gotten a hold of Steve’s belt, dragged Steve backward, Steve twisted like a snake, getting free and planting a solid kick into Jason’s gut. Tommy was yelling from the shore. Jason had gotten a hold of Steve’s foot and was wrenching his ankle trying to get a good grip, but Steve kicked wildly with his free leg and made contact, this time Jason was the one to lose his balance.

Steve moved as fast as he could towards the shore, he could hear Jason spluttering and cursing right behind him. Jason grabbed a hold of Steve again, but this time Steve wheeled around on him and broke the bottle on his head.

“Jason! Stop, what the hell!” Tommy got into the water, Steve still had the neck of the bottle in his hand, and he slashed wildly in Tommy’s direction making him jump back.

“Shit! You’re fucking crazy!” Tommy screeched.

“Back off!” Steve tripped through the reeds as he stumbled up the shore.

Jason was hot on his trail. Steve turned in time to see a knife point go flashing past his eyes, he felt a strike cut across his shoulder.

A blur of shadow came flying out of the corner of Steve’s line of sight, at first Steve thought it was Tommy, but it was someone else, someone that rammed into Jason, and sent him back into the shallows, the stranger wrenched the knife from Jason’s hand, threw several quick punches that landed soundly in Jason’s nose, cheek and jaw. Steve could hear the impact of the blows.

Steve turned to see Tommy moving towards the fray. Steve dropped the broken bottle he’d been holding grappled Tommy around the waist and threw him into the water, he wasn’t going to let it be two against one. Whoever was on top of Jason was now shoving Jason’s face into the shallows, Jason’s legs were thrashing wildly, his hands reaching up at his assailant trying to pry them off of him.

“Stop! Stop!” Steve leapt forward and grabbed onto the figure that was seconds away from drowning Jason. Steve pulled hard, but it was like trying to move a marble statue.

“I’ll kill you.” A familiar voice threatened, but it wasn’t directed at Steve, and it wasn’t a stranger’s voice, it was Billy, Billy Hargrove.

“Holy shit.” Steve uttered.

Billy stood up and moved back. Jason sat up and expelled water gasping and choking, desperate for air. Billy turned his sights on Tommy. Steve followed Billy’s gaze. Billy’s pale face was framed by his damp hair, his lips drawn and tight, his eyes shining like cold stars, _he’s terrifying and beautiful_ , Steve thought but shook his head feeling drunk and frightened.

“Is that your trash?” Billy flung the knife into the water, and pointed at Jason.

“My cousin.” Tommy spluttered, his face pale, his palms up, “That’s my cousin, he’s my cousin.”

“Billy.” Steve said, he was shaking from adrenaline and cold. He hadn’t seen Billy since the mall.

Billy walked out of the water as Tommy rushed forward to help his cousin get up from the mud.

“Get the fuck out of here, if I see him again, I’ll finish the job.” Billy called after Tommy. 

Billy walked up to Steve and grabbed him by the elbow and pulled him away. Steve looked down mutely at his hand and let Billy steer him away.

They walked several yards along the edge of the lake, Steve was shaking with cold, the adrenaline rush was draining away and leaving him fatigued drunk. Steve unintentionally bumped lightly into Billy as he walked beside him. Steve wanted to ask Billy if he was okay and where he’d been. Steve wondered if Billy was out looking for the monster too and then laughed at the absurdity of it all, but quickly stopped because he felt nauseous from the fight and the whiskey.

“Almost there.” Billy said, his voice raw, he squeezed Steve’s arm and quickened his pace tugging him along.

They arrived at a clearing and not too far ahead of them was a small trailer. There weren’t any lights on, and Steve wondered he was about to find himself wet and bleeding explaining to confused adults that he’d just been in a fight and had been thrown in the lake, and if he charm his way out of getting the police involved. Billy marched up the steps and opened the door and walked in like he owned the place.

************

Steve blinked when a lamp was turned on, he squinted around the sparsely furnished room, the carpet was beige and stained here and there, a low sagging couch and a coffee table was set before a small television. He felt Billy roughly pull him forward by his shirt, Steve was startled and grabbed Billy’s wrists.

“Get this off, you’re freezing.” Billy pulled at Steve’s soaked jacket. He slid the shoulders down roughly.

“Ow, shit, okay, okay.” Steve pulled off the jacket, and felt Billy still yanking at his shirt.

“Take it off, just strip Harrington.” Billy commanded his voice raw and impatient. Steve did as he was told, being naked wasn’t really an issue for him, he wanted to be warm. He watched Billy peel off a soaked sweater and thermal under that, his belly and chest had starburst scars all across it, white and raised skin shining on his torso. Billy knelt down and unknotted his boots and kicked them off and walked out of the room, he stopped and turned back.

“C’mon Harrington.” His eyes were down cast as he turned away, Steve followed him into a cramped bathroom.

The shower came spurting to life, Billy removed his remaining clothes and stepped in, he grabbed Steve’s hand as soon as Steve had managed to step out of his water logged jeans and shoes and pulled him in the narrow stall with him. The water was tepid, but heating steadily. Steve stood there shaking with Billy standing close behind him. Billy pulled the plastic shower curtain shut, enclosing them in the now steaming stall. Steve couldn’t stop shuddering, it was so bad that breathing was hard, he struggled to wrap his mind around what had just happened. After several minutes he felt himself able to take in steady breaths, he turned, wanting to say something, and faced Billy, their noses brushed briefly, he blinked away the shower water and ran his hand over his head trying to get his hair out of his face. Steve finally saw Billy clearly, he was pale, his brows knit tightly, the corners of his mouth turned down.

“Thanks.” Steve said.

He couldn’t believe he was looking at Billy, alive and inches from him.

“You’re bleeding.” Billy said, his hand resting on Steve’s arm, just below a weeping cut, Steve turned to better see the wound, it didn’t look too bad, the blood was being washed pink by the steady spray. Steve lifted his eyes to Billy’s.

“Yeah.” Steve agreed and impulsively caught Billy’s lips in his own.

Steve rested his hands on Billy’s neck and kissed him again, parting his lips, pressing his tongue in Billy’s mouth. Steve felt Billy move back and stop short when the his back met the wall. Steve chased his lips, and kissed Billy deeply, over and over till his body was pressed to Billy’s. Steve wrapped one arm around the battle scarred boy and cradled him closer. He felt Billy shudder in his arms and return the kisses with thrilling hunger. Steve melted against Billy, feeling Billy’s hands squeeze Steve’s arms at the biceps, feeling the stubble of Billy’s upper lip graze Steve’s mouth. And just as suddenly as it had started it was over.

“The water’s going cold.” Billy muttered his eyes downcast, ducking his chin.

“Oh.” Steve said.

Billy reached around Steve and turned the water off, he stepped out of the shower and grabbed a towel.

“I’ve got some more towels…” Billy’s voice trailed off as he went out of the bathroom.

Steve followed him in a daze. He got a towel thrown in his face and grabbed it and worked it over his head, feeling foolish and exhausted.When he pulled the towel down Billy was holding out some sweat pants.

“Thanks.” Steve said.

Steve took the sweatpants and passed the towel over his body before stepping into them, he was still cold, but not like before. He watched Billy pull on some jeans and sit on the edge of a bed and pull on some socks, he looked up a Steve and tossed him a pair Steve.

“There’s no heat, just get in the bed.” Billy said his voice emotionless.

“Okay.” Steve said.

Billy lent Steve a sweater. Steve pulled it on, it had a faint odor of cigarettes and cologne, the whole place smelled of Billy’s presence.

“How long have you been here?” Steve asked.

Billy was pulling the blankets back, not looking at Steve.

“Since I got out of the hospital.” Billy didn’t elaborate.

“It’s nice.” Steve offered, it wasn’t exactly nice, but it was dry and quiet and felt very safe compared to what Steve had just been through. “You’ve got your own place, that’s… that’s cool. I could just crash on the couch, I left my car by the lake, I could, um, head out?”

“You want to walk back to your car? Do you even know the way?” Billy sounded irritated.

“No.” Steve answered both questions honestly.

“Just lay down, asshole.” Billy said.

Steve parted his lips, but realized he’d rather just get under the blankets, he didn’t want to walk to his car, or drive anywhere. He wanted to ask Billy a million questions, he wanted to kiss him again.

Billy reached over and turned off the light. Billy felt the bed shift as Steve got in, there was some light coming through the blinds, it was faint starlight that was strobing slowly through the chasing clouds cutting their weak rays into strips of pale light.

“Is this real?” Billy asked.

“What?” Steve turned on his side, nestling under the blankets.

“Is this real?” Billy asked again.

“Yes, it’s real.” Steve answered.

Billy felt Steve move closer.

“You’re real.” Billy said.

Billy reached over and rested his hand on Steve’s side, he felt real, but a lot of things that weren’t real had felt real, had looked real, even smelled real, but they hadn’t been, he’d seen himself, he’d seen his mom on the beach, he’d seen the shadow, the monster of dead flesh, he’d seen so many things that weren’t real.

“Did …”Billy let the word float in the silence.

“It’s okay, this is real.” Steve spoke softly.

Billy blinked away tears, he pressed his hands over his face and heard a meek sob escape his lips.

“Hey, hey.” Steve shifted closer and pulled Billy into his arms.

Billy tensed a bit, he couldn’t remember being held, it was frightening, it was blissful. He was shaking.

“I”m real, and you just saved my bacon.” Steve said.

“I was, I was watching you…”

“What?”

“Forget it.” Billy said gruffly.

“Why?” Steve persisted.

“What were you doing out there?” Billy asked.

“I was looking for a monster.” Steve said.

“What?” Billy’s skin instantly started crawling.

“No, I mean, I was looking for a monster, but not like that one, not like the one, that tried to get you…” Steve said.

“It got me.” Billy twisted on his side and turned on the lamp.

“It tried to.” Steve sat up squinting at Billy.

“So what monster then?” Billy asked impatiently.

“It’s stupid, can we talk about it tomorrow?” Steve pleaded.

“Whatever.” Billy wondered what kind of monster was in the lake, he hadn’t seen or heard anything, at least nothing he thought was real.

“Almost forty years ago, some local teenagers drowned in the lake, and this story got circulated that there was a fishman or something. So, I was just,”

“Looking for a fishman and ended up getting your ass handed to you?”

“I was handling it.” Steve said irritably.

“Sure, pretty boy.” Billy said, and when Steve said nothing in reply Billy felt a pang of guilt.

“I wasn’t expecting him to pull a knife.” Steve said after several minutes. “Oh shit, I’m sorry, god.” Steve sat up in the bed, covering the cut on his shoulder his eyes cast down on the sheets.

“It’s just blood.” Billy sat up he reached over and touched the skin on Steve’s arm just below the cut he sighed and Steve could see his breath.

“Why is it so cold in here?” Steve asked.

“I told you, no heat.”Billy got out of the bed and walked into the bathroom, under the sink he had a pretty well stocked emergency kit, including a note pad that he kept inventory on. He was frequently getting cuts and scratches, he kept them cleaned, just like the doctor had shown him.

When he came back Steve was staring at him.

“What are you looking at?” Billy said as he sat on the bed and set the emergency kit between them.

“You, I mean, it’s been months, like four or five, I used to see you everyday remember? I mean, till school ended.”

“Uh huh.” Billy said, as he reached for his cigarettes and his lighter, he grabbed a hoodie off the floor and pulled it on before lighting up.

Billy grabbed a clean tissue and poured some alcohol on it and pressed it over Steve’s cut, wiping roughly. Tending to Steve’s wound with one hand and a cigarette in the other.

“Ow, shit, owww.” Steve scrunched up his face.

“So there’s a fishman in Lake Jordan.” Billy barked a laugh, and took a drag off his cigarette, “And you’re gonna what? Go find it and fight it?”

“No, I just had to go see. Then Tommy and that Jason guy showed up.”

“Good thing you’re pretty, cause you sure as shit ain’t smart.” Billy said.

“Fuck you.” Steve said sullenly.

“You shouldn’t have gone alone, drunk and at night.” Billy said his voice so low he was almost whispering in Steve’s ear as he bandaged his shoulder.

“I wasn’t drunk when I got there.” Steve protested.

Billy taped the corners of the gauze down and wrapped an ace bandage over that and pinned it in place.

“If it’s still bleeding in the morning we can glue it shut.”

“Glue?” Steve rested his hand over the bandage.

“Nail glue.” Billy said as if Steve should know exactly what he meant, “You don’t need stitches and you’re not gonna die.”

“Thanks.” Steve laid back, exhausted. He desperately wanted to talk to Billy, they had never really talked, just butted heads, bickered and fought. Steve turned on his side watching Billy smoke, he was still a dick, but he was also being kind. Steve reached over without thinking and pulled a strand of Billy’s hair out from the neck of the hoodie. Billy lowered his eyes watching Steve’s hand but said nothing.

“Your hair’s gotten really long.” Steve pulled the strand straight, it was still damp and dark with water.

“Yep.” Billy replied and tossed his half smoked cigarette into an old cup of coffee on his bedside table and then turned off the lamp.

“You okay out here by yourself?” Steve asked in the dark.

“Yeah.” Billy said burrowing into the blankets.

“Does your family come see you?” Steve shifted closer.

“I’m not in the mood to play twenty questions Steve, go to sleep. Jesus.” Billy turned his back to Steve. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d slept next to someone, or talked to someone that wasn’t a medical professional or a government employee.

Steve held still for a moment. Everything felt unreal, he didn’t blame Billy for asking if this was real, but that had been a weird question - Steve wondered if what happened with the Mind-Flayer had given Billy some kind of brain damage, or if was shell-shocked. Steve drew a breath to ask Billy why he was staying out here alone, why he wasn’t at home, but thought better of it and just cleared his throat.

“What?” Billy snapped.

“Nothing, just clearing my throat.” Steve said innocently.

Billy rolled over and was startled when his nose nearly bumped Steve, he hadn’t realized Steve had moved so close to him.

Steve didn’t move away.

“It’s cold.” Steve whispered.

Billy swallowed dryly, he wondered if this was real, but he normally only hallucinated bad things, and this wasn’t bad, it was something, but not bad. He slowly lifted his left arm, canopying the blankets that were draped over the pair of them and felt Steve move under his arm without hesitation.

“If I’d known you were out here I would have come.” Steve said.

“Why?” Billy asked in spite of himself.

“To see you. Make sure that you’re doing okay. You know, recovering. You saved Jane, and all of us really. I mean, if you’d done what _it_ wanted, I think we’d all be dead even the Russians.” Steve said thoughtfully.

Steve had never realized how badly he’d wanted to be close to Billy, how magnetic he was. Billy was good looking, and as it turned out brave, kind of a dick as well, he’s was an asshole more often than not, but still there was something irresistible about him, maybe he was like a vice? Steve mused silently. He thought Billy was like some secret habit that would wind up ruining his life. Steve smiled at that idea and smiled a little broader when he felt Billy’s arm rest on his side.

“I’m _not_ doing okay.” Billy said, he was pretty sure that Steve had already fallen asleep, and he felt his throat clench as soon as he said the words, hot tears escaping the corners of his eyes, but it was dark and it felt good to say it aloud, like he’d released just a little pressure from his chest.

“I’ll make it better.” Steve promised sleepily.

“Go to sleep,” Billy wanted to laugh, he was still crying, but it was so fucking ridiculous that Steve thought he could make anything better, and also said with childlike sincerity and certainty. “Idiot.”

“You’re mean.” Steve mumbled.

“That’s right.” Billy pulled Steve closer, his head swimming, he’d nearly drowned a guy for Steve, or maybe for himself he wasn’t sure, and told himself it didn’t matter.

********

Steve woke up with a hangover and his muscles aching, the cut on his shoulder burning lightly. He ran his hands over his tangled hair, it had dried in the night and felt greasy.

He looked over and saw that Billy was propped up on one shoulder his eyes cast down at Steve’s lap. Steve followed Billy’s gaze and saw that he had a rather impressive morning erection. Steve felt a flush run up his chest all the way to his hairline. He cleared his throat and looked over at Billy, not sure what he was about to say but Billy was already getting out of the bed.

“You drink tea?” Billy asked.

“Yeah.”

Steve went into the bathroom and jerked off as quickly and quietly as he could. He rinsed his face and dabbed a little toothpaste on his finger and rubbed his teeth and gums, he felt grimy and horny and achey. It was all too much to try and recount the things that had happened last night. He’d finally seen _Billy_ , he was there with _Billy_ , he was surprised Billy hadn’t beaten him just for crashing into his Camaro, instead Billy had jumped into the lake and saved him.

“I kissed him!” Steve said to the mirror, remembering leaning into Billy in the shower and stealing a string of kisses so sweet and hot that he hadn’t wanted to stop, but clearly Billy had.

Steve walked out of the bathroom still in dressed in borrowed clothing. He entered the main living area and walked across it to the small kitchenette area near the entrance.

“Here.” Billy handed him a cup of black tea.

“Thanks.”Steve took the hot cup and took a sip.

“Your clothes are still wet.” Billy said.

“Yeah I figured they would be,” Steve turned in a slow circle, “Um where are they?”

“Outside, it’s so cold though they may just freeze.” Billy sat down on a scarred wooden chair Steve sat down across from Billy.

“Your hair looks like you got caught in a blender.” Billy remarked dispassionately.

“Yeah? Yours looks pretty good.” Steve looked at Billy bronze curls, they’d lost their summer highlights, but appeared softer, he wondered idly if it was because Billy wasn’t getting his hair soaked in chlorine anymore.

“I’ll walk you back to your car.” Billy opened a little bread box on the kitchen counter revealing a small half eaten loaf of sliced bread, he grabbed a couple slices and put them in a toaster.

“That’s good, because I’m not really sure where it is.” Steve said into his mug of tea.

“Can you find it get you to the dock?” Billy looked at Steve like he was a moron, or at least that’s what Steve thought he was thinking.

“Well yeah, I’m just turned around. I didn’t even know there were trailers by Lake Jordan.” Steve folded his socked feet under himself sitting lotus in a rickety wooden chair.

“I had to find somewhere cheap to live.” Billy chewed the inside of his cheek, he didn’t know why he was talking so much. Billy told himself that it wasn’t as if Steve cared, no one cared, it was all obligation and duty that drove people to help him. Doc Owens had arranged some financial aid from the government, Billy didn’t ask too many questions about that money, he just took it, what choice did he have?

  
“You okay?” Steve asked.

  
Billy’s fists were balled up tight and his jaw was clenched.

“What?” Billy snapped.

The toast popped out of the toaster and Billy tossed them on a plate, he set the plate down in front of Steve.

“You looked, pissed.” Steve said picking up a piece of toast, “Are you mad at me?”

“No, should I be? What’d you do, Harrington?” Billy leaned forward one hand planted on the table and the other on the backrest of Steve’s chair. Billy’s bright blue eyes locked on Steve’s.

Months ago Steve would have recoiled, or gotten ready for a fight, or maybe just tried to get in a quick sucker punch, but this felt different, it felt like a hollow attempt at intimidation, there was nothing real behind it, not like before when it was loaded with heat and anger.

“I’ve done…” Steve hesitated, he dropped his toast on the plate, and swallowed, looking up at Billy, he knew he should tread with care, but he didn’t find Billy all that menacing, he felt a different kind of charge in his closeness than he had before, before summer, before the Mind-Flayer had run amok in Hawkins.

“A lot of things.” Steve reached up and touched Billy’s collar bone and ran his index finger along the chain of his necklace down to the hanging medal of the Virgin Mary.

Billy moved back, and picked up his cup and took a long drink, “Haven’t we all.”

Steve watched him curiously, Billy didn’t look angry, he looked anxious, but not mad. Steve picked up his toast and ate it slowly feeling more and more curious about Billy, he wondered how long Billy had been out here living on his own, when he’d been released from the hospital.

Billy went to the bedroom and came back with Steve’s sneakers as well as his own boots, he dropped Steve’s sneakers on the the linoleum and sat down and started pulling on his boots.

“I’m gonna walk you back to your car and then I gotta go.” Billy said as he pulled on a boot.

“Where are you going?” Steve asked reluctantly pulling on his damp Nikes.

“Why?” Billy asked.

“I could give you a ride.” Steve suggested.

“I don’t need a ride.” Billy said.

“Oh. You’ve got a car? The Camaro?”

“It’s not running.”

“Then how?” Steve watched as Billy sat up straight and frowned at him.

“I walk, I have legs.” Billy said getting up and walking back to his bedroom.

“Then let me drop you off.” Steve called after him. 

Billy came back into the room slipping on his old leather jacket and pulling a beanie down on his head of wild curls. He plucked up a denim jacket and a flannel shirt from off the back of the kitchen chair he’d been sitting in and tossed them at Steve.

“Thanks.” Steve said.

Steve felt as though he’d said thanks a hundred times, but what else was there to say? Billy was being kind, in his own rude way.

Steve peeled off the sweater he’d slept in and slid on the flannel, buttoned it up and pulled the sweater on over it, and then the jacket, he could feel Billy watching him, and it gave him a rush of butterflies deep in his gut. Steve wondered, how things had changed so much, so quickly.

They stepped outside into the brisk morning air, Billy yanked Steve’s clothes off the cloth-line and handed them to Steve.

“Oh thank god. I thought I’d lost my keys.” Steve reached into the pocket of his jeans and looked to see that Billy was walking away, leaving him behind.

Billy looked over his shoulder atSteve, “Don’t make me late.”

Steve caught up easily in a few bounding steps. His breath was hanging in the air, he went to check his watch for the time but realized that it was gone.

“Shit.” He murmured rubbing his naked wrist, “Hey, what time is it?”

Billy glanced at his watch, “A quarter after nine.”

They made their way around the lake’s parameter, Billy moved along a small footpath as though he himself had worn it into existence. It wasn’t long at all before they were within sight of the old dock. Tommy and Jason were no where in sight, not that Steve had expected to see them, but part of him wondered if there’d be some tell tale signs of their struggles the night before. But like a bad dream all traces were gone with the soft morning light.

“My car’s over here.” Steve said, he walked a few paces and looked down, he saw his wallet in the trampled grass, he reached down and snatched it up. He opened it and was happy to see it still had all its contents, a few dollars, an ID and an old photo of him and Nancy, and one of him Nancy and Jonathan from right before the Byers had moved.

“Found my wallet.” Steve announced looking over at Billy, Billy was lingering near the dock watching the water, he didn’t seem to hear Steve.

Steve jogged over to Billy, he was cold, the sweatpants weren’t doing much to keep his legs warm and his sneakers were so damp that his socks were soaked through.

“Hey, come on, I’ll give you a ride, the heater works great… Billy?” Steve touched Billy’s elbow and watched as Billy jolted as if he’d been rudely awakened, he snapped his head looking over at Steve his eyes focusing slowly.

“Can I give you a ride?” Steve asked softly.

“Yeah.” Billy replied, “Let’s go.”

Steve found his car as he’d left it, with the addition of a layer of frost. 

“Man, I thought for sure Tommy would have smashed my windshield or something.” Steve unlocked the driver side door and climbed in, he reached across opening the passenger door for Billy.

Billy got in and shut the door, he watched as Steve twisted the key in the ignition, the engine started up and Steve cranked up the knob on the heater.

“So, where can I take you?” Steve asked, his voice felt too loud in the confines of the car to him, he was excited, irrationally giddy to be sitting in his car with Billy.

“Just take me to the bus stop on the main strip.”Billy said.

Billy reached into his jacket and pulled out a crumpled pack of cigarettes.

He held the pack in his hand and stared out the window, seeming to have forgotten all about them, his blue eyes flicked across the windshield staring out at the world with a nervous energy Steve didn’t recognize.

“Just tell me where you need to be. Come on, it’s the least I can do. You saved my life last night.” Steve said.

“I didn’t save your life, why do you have to be such a dramatic? You sound like a bitch.” Billy pulled a cigarette out and lit it, he snapped his lighter shut as if to punctuate his statement.

“I sound like a bitch? Yeah, what else?”

“What?” Billy looked over.

“I sound like a bitch, I’m an idiot, oh and an asshole, what else you got, Hargrove?” Steve challenged.

“You play basketball like a fairy.”

“Uh-huh.”

“You wear lipgloss.”

“What?” Steve laughed, “No, I don’t.”

“You’ve got a weird amount of freckles and your legs are too long, you look like a frog.” Billy chuckled.

“Well you’ve got eyes like a girl and I’m pretty sure you wear mascara, Tammy-Faye.”

“Fuck you!” Billy laughed, a small smile curled the corners of his lips.

“Yeah, whatever pool boy.”

“I was a life guard, not a pool boy.” Billy snorted.

“Sure, life guard, pool boy, it’s really not that different.”

“At least I didn’t run around in a toddler’s sailor suit at Starcourt.”

“That was my uniform, and I wore it with distinction.” Steve popped his flannel collar and winked at Billy.

Billy raised his eyebrows and shook his head, looking out the window. They rode along in silence for a while. Steve sighed feeling oddly contented, at least he’d gotten Billy to laugh and crack a smile, even if it was fleeting.

By the time they got to downtown Hawkins there was a steady rain falling, Steve turned on the windshield wipers and looked at the drenched bus bench where Billy had asked him to drop him off.

“It’s raining. Just tell me where you’re going and I’ll take you.”

“I don’t care.” Billy said stiffly.

“Dude, come on.” Steve nudged Billy’s shoulder.

“Fine. If you want to drive all the way to Marion, then that’s where I’m going.”

“Yes sir, right away sir! I’m Steve Harrington and I’ll be your driver, sit back relax and enjoy some sweet tunes.” Steve shoved a mixed tape in the deck and flipped a smooth U-turn heading towards the highway.

“Such a fucking nerd.” Billy said softly.

“I’ll add that to my list of traits, or is it a skill?” Steve teased.

“It’s a fucking character flaw.” Billy jibed.

“Ouch, I’m so hurt.” Steve rested his hand on his chest dramatically.

“Oh, I’ll fucking hurt you.” Billy snorted.

“What if I’m into it?” Steve side-eyed Billy and batted his lashes.

“Head-case.” Billy said exhaling a plume of smoke in Steve’s face.

Steve waved away the smoke and smiled at Billy, he couldn’t help himself. He wondered why they hadn’t been friends, why Billy had been so agro.

“This isn’t bad.” Billy said nodding towards the stereo.

“Not bad? It’s great, it’s T-Rex.”

“Yeah, I know who Marc Bolan is, thanks.” Billy rolled his eyes.   
  
Okay then, sorry, I didn’t think he was metal enough.”

“I mean, this shit’s pretty tame, but it’s not bad.” Billy admitted.

Billy watched the world flow by, he kept waiting to see shadows, or feel the blackness come over him, but nothing bad happened. He was laughing and joking with Steve, he couldn’t remember the last time he’d smiled or felt kind of safe. He tried to hold onto the feeling knowing wouldn’t last for long. He figured Steve would drop him off at the hospital and that would be it, he’d never hear from him again. Billy closed his eyes and leaned back in the leather seat, it was warm and the motion of the car was making him sleepy. He felt his eyes dip down and then slept.

“Hey, we’re in Marion, I don’t know where I’m taking you?” Steve reached over and gently squeezed Billy’s arm.

Billy sat up slowly and looked around, for a moment he wasn’t sure where he was, or who he was with. He looked over at Steve and saw him looking at him with his big brown eyes, his expression soft, his lips looked pink and glossed, as tempting as ripe fruit.

“The um, it’s…” Billy sat up and looked out the window orienting himself, “Just go about a mile and then turn on the left on Wabash Avenue, it’s a big hospital, you can’t miss it.” Billy looked over at Steve and nodded feeling oddly vulnerable.

Steve drove along, the windshield wipers were moving lazily back and forth, he glanced over at Billy, wondering why he was going to the hospital, but he thought it better not to ask.

Steve pulled up in front of the entrance, he watched a woman rush in closing her umbrella as she walked through the glass sliding doors.

“Okay, um. How long are you gonna be in there?” Steve looked at Billy he’d already opened the passenger door.

“Like half an hour, you don’t need to wait.” Billy looked at Steve.

“Is that all? Yeah, I’ll be here.” Steve shrugged.

“Harrington, you don’t have to wait on me.” Billy said.

“Got nothing better to do.” Steve replied.

“Seriously?” Billy looked at Steve.

“Yeah. One-hundred percent.”

“You’ve got nothing better to do?”

“Nope.”

“That’s kind of tragic.” Billy got out of the car.

“I’ll see you in a half hour.” Steve tapped the steering wheel.

Steve watched Billy dash through the rain and through the hospital doors, and then parked across from the entrance, where he knew Billy would see the car when he came out. Steve was going to be late for work, but he couldn’t just leave Billy there. Steve chewed his lip wondering if Keith would fire him and quickly decided it would be worth it. Something was happening, something good, for once in his life, he thought, it felt like he was making the right choice.

Steve jolted awake, Billy was knocking on the window of the passenger door, Steve unlocked the car and watched as Billy climbed into the passenger seat.

“Thanks.” Billy said.

“Yeah.” Steve started the engine, it was raining steadily, he looked over at Billy wondering what he’d been doing inside.

“Everything alright?” Steve asked pulling onto Wabash Avenue.

Billy let out a low chuckle, “Yeah, sure.”

They drove listening to music playing low on the stereo. Billy sank low in the seat, Steve stole glances peering at Billy. He looked exhausted. It wasn’t until Steve pulled over in front of Billy’s trailer that Steve broke the silence.

“Hey, can I um, can I come see you?” Steve looked at Billy hopefully.

“I guess.” Billy said not looking at him.

“Okay.” Steve nodded feeling unsure.

“Just swing by, whenever.” Billy said.

Steve watched Billy go inside his trailer without looking back, and felt a pressure in his chest, it was something like heartache and hope.

_____________________________________________________________________________________

**Part 6**

**Crush**

What’s wrong with you? Robin bopped Steve on the head with a cardboard cut out of Marty McFly.

“Hey! Nothing.” Steve said indignantly as he swatted away the offending time-traveler.

“You’ve been acting weird.” Robin set down the stand and folded her arms watching Steve.

“Nu-uh.” Steve shook his head and remembered that he’d been restocking the candy display.

“You’ve been stocking the counter candy for like an hour, and even for you, that’s kind of a long time.”

“I just want it to look nice.” Steve refilled the tootsie-pop jar and then looked at Robin gesturing to it, “See, looks nice.” He took out a lollipop and unwrapped it popped it in his mouth.

“You’re totally stealing right now.” Robin poked him in the ribs.

“I’m doing marketing,” Steve said around the candy in his cheek, “Kids will see me enjoying this and then they’ll ask their parents for one too.”

“Right, so you’re just, a?” Robin waited for Steve answer.

“I’m like a spokesmodel for our um, delicious candies.” Steve shrugged.

“Right. And why are you such a space-cadet? Clearly your blood sugar isn’t low.”

“I just got a lot on my mind, I’m you know, a thoughtful person, with deep thoughts, thinking about things.”

“Oh my god, Steve Harrington, my dearest precious dingus, what is going on with you? Just spit it out!” Robin rolled her eyes.

“I got nothing to say for myself, sorry I’m not hyper focused and great at everything like you are.” Steve muttered sourly.

The door chimed as it opened and Robin glanced over to see who was coming in, it was Clair, she came in most Sundays and usually Steve would greet her, and then chat with her for way too long about whatever movie she chose to rent, they kind of had a flirting thing, but Robin could tell Clair wasn’t taking Steve seriously.

“Oh boy.” Robin said softly waiting to witness Steve do some ham-fisted flirting.

Robin watched as Clair walked past Steve towards the new-arrival movies display and was astonished when Steve didn’t even bother to greet Clair.

Clair glanced over at Steve, her index finger twisting a stand of recently crimped long blonde hair. Steve looked up and said “Oh hey, Clair.”

“Here we go.” Robin muttered under her breath.

“Hi Steve.” Clair said smiling.

Robin looked over at Steve expecting the tennis match of awkward flirting to begin but Steve had gone back to packing Bazooka Gum into the jar, and had then moved on to loading the jaw-breakers. Robin was baffled. Steve never let Clair leave without some form of tedious chit chat, but he didn’t go to the register when she was ready to check out.

“I think Clair’s ready to go.” Robin said trying to get Steve to go help her.

“Bye Clair.” Steve said as he was flattening the now emptied candy boxes and putting them under his arm and taking them to the back.

“I’ll help you.” Robin said getting behind the counter wondering what the hell happened.

“Is he okay?” Clair asked, feigning disinterest.

“He’s a little, um, he’s got a lot on his mind.” Robin said.

“Usually he’s so um, friendly and chatty.” Clair said.

“Yeah.” Robin agreed handing Clair her videos. Robin realized that Clair was suddenly interested in Steve now that he wasn’t fussing over her. Robin narrowed her eyes a little.

“Alright, due back on Tuesday, enjoy.”Robin said a little stiffly.

“Yeah, thanks, bye.” Clair gave a longing look towards the doors that led to the employee area as if Steve would at any second come bounding out to shower her with attention.

Robin leaned on the counter watching Clair leave, she turned when Steve came out of the back room, this time his arms were loaded with posters.

“I don’t know why we’re carrying posters now, I mean at least half of these are never gonna sell.”

“It’s almost Christmas, people buy anything at Christmas time. Hey, are you trying reverse-psychology on Clair, because creepily enough, I think it worked.”

“What, no.” Steve shook his head restocking the poster display.

“Why didn’t you talk to her?” Robin asked.

“I said hi.” Steve said defensively.

“You like someone!” Robin announced slapping the counter, “Who, who is she, do I know her?”

“No, no I don’t. I don’t like anyone, I mean, no. Why do you think I like someone? You’re obsessed with my lack of a relationship, actually more than I am, I mean I date, I’ve dated, maybe you should focus on your dating, when was the last time you were out with…?” Steve snapped his fingers pretending he couldn’t remember Robin’s love interest’s name.

“Uh, Monica her name is Monica, and you know, that I know, you know her name. and I told you she’s in San Francisco with her family, and we’re taking things slow.” Robin was annoyed but also got a kind of coy smile on her face.

“Monica.” Steve nodded,“Monica… you should call her, do you guys talk on the phone much?”

“I know you like someone.” Robin leaned on the counter watching Steve.

“I really don’t.” Steve looked around and shrugged.

“Baloney.” Robin said.

“There’s um, there’s nothing going on.” Steve frowned a little.

“Oh, Oh-ho-ho! You’re smitten on someone and you haven’t told them, and more importantly, you haven’t told me. I thought we were best friends Steve! This is not acceptable best friend behavior.” Robin poked Steve in his tummy.

“Hey.” Steve bounced away from her, laughing lightly.

“Why are you smiling like that?” Robin quizzed.

“Like what? You know I’m ticklish.” Steve tried to force his smile into a straight line, but was failing miserably, his eyes were dancing and creased in the corners.

“You have a secret crush!” Robin laughed, “Oh, oh, oh my god you don’t want to tell me, that’s so cute, because you know, _you know_ , I’ll find out who she is!”

“Yeah, no you won’t.” Steve blinked at her holding his palms up as if to shield himself from her psychic gaze.

“Won’t I? You just admitted you’ve a secret crush, I’m already breaking down you defenses, and you didn’t even know it was happening.” Robin flashed her eyes at Steve.

“You are, the _worst_ best friend.” Steve laughed, he could feel his cheeks flushing.

“You’ve got it bad.” Robin moved closer like a shark tracking blood in the water.

“Hey, no over-time.” Keith said as he walked in the door wearing a yellow rain slicker, pointing at his watch and then Steve.

“Oops, well, guess my shift’s over, better clock out!” Steve practically danced across the room backwards shooting Robin with finger pistols.

“I will find out. It’s only a matter of time!” Robin yelled after him.

“Find out what?” Keith looked at Robin suspiciously.

“Um, why men are so terrible at lying.” Robin shrugged.

“Oh. Yeah, I don’t lie, because I’m fully aware how bad I am at it.” Keith nodded.

“That was a lie.” Robin pointed at Keith.

Yeah, you’re right.” Keith admitted, “I’m sorry.”

“That was a half-truth.”

“You’re good at this.” Keith side-eyed Robin.

“That’s true.” Robin smiled.

_____________________________________________________________________________________

**Part 7**

**Possum Pie**

When Billy opened his front door he was not pleased it was snowing. He stared up at the peacefully drifting flakes.

“Fuck you.” Billy said.

He walked over to his Camaro, it was covered with a blue plastic tarp. There were ice crystals dusting the surface of everything from the water blown off the lake. Billy wasn’t sure if he’d ever have enough money to get his Camaro running again, but he liked being able to work on it now and again, sometimes he’d just take a mallet to the dents and try and bang them out, today he was planning on replacing one of the headlights. The electrical wiring was still good, and when the battery was hooked up he could play the radio. Billy walked around to the nose of the car, his booted feet crunching on the frozen dead grass. He popped the hood and inspected the engine, he’d managed to replace some old hoses, the smell of motor oil didn’t make him sick anymore, he still wasn’t too keen on most chemical smells, especially chlorine.

Billy had made a habit of disconnecting the battery when he wasn’t tinkering with the car in hopes of increasing its life, he leaned over to reattach the battery when he noticed something strange. A small grey lump next to the gas tank. At first he thought it was some kind of mold, then maybe a bird, or some dried up leaves, but on closer inspection he realized it was an opossum, it wasn’t much bigger than his palm. Billy reached over and scooped up the cold little body.

“I guess a funeral is in order this morning.” Billy touched the the brow of the small animal, ran his finger tip over its small black and white ears, he poked its nose trying to push around its gums to see its teeth. That’s when he realized it was weakly breathing.

“Oh shit.” Billy said thoughtfully.

He tucked the little marsupial in the pouch of his hoodie near his stomach and closed the hood of the Camaro and covered it quickly with the tarp and went into his trailer. He sat down on the couch and pulled out the small animal, this time it blinked and opened its mouth wide and exhaled a meek hiss at Billy, it was a rather pathetic attempt to keep him at bay, Billy thought.

“So you’re a fighter? Good.”

Billy grabbed a kitchen towel and swaddled the little opossum in it and dug around in the fridge, keeping it in the crook of his elbow. He didn’t have much of anything to eat, but he decided even if the opossum didn’t make it, it deserved a last meal. He poured some milk in a sauce pan, and then added some bread and frozen peas making a mush. He didn’t know anything about opossums’ diets, but maybe it wouldn’t be too picky if it was hungry enough.

Billy sat on his sagging couch, the opossum on in his lap and attempted to spoon feed it some of the warm milk soaked bread and smashed peas. The opossum sniffed at the spoon and took a bite, and before long its long snout was covered in milky bread crumbs. It’s dark eyes became alert, its whiskers twitching, its ears tilting around like satellite dishes.

Billy hadn’t realized how alone he’d been feeling until Steve had spent the night, he pushed the thought away and looked at the living thing in his hand.

“You’re such a slob.” Billy chided softly, he started stroking its head with an index finger. The Opossum was so hungry it didn’t seem to notice it was being pet. Billy shifted back into the couch, a small serene smile touching his lips.

“I wasn’t expecting company, otherwise I would have baked a pie.” Billy joked.

“Maybe I could fatten you up and make possum pie? What do you think about that? You’re so small, where’s your mama?” Billy whispered.

He felt his throat tighten and cleared it roughly.

The opossum froze at the sound, and looked up at him before slowly beginning to chew again.

_____________________________________________________________________________________

**Part 8**

**Out  
**

It had been snowing for two days straight, and Steve had tried to convince himself to go see Billy, Billy was all he thought about, and it had now been exactly a week since the night he’d seen him. Steve checked the time, they were closing in five minutes and no one had set foot in Family Video for the last hour and a half. Everything was done, the only thing left to do was lock the doors and turn off the lights. He stared out the windows and across the vacant parking lot.

“What if he’s mad?” Steve mumbled.

“What if who’s mad?” Robin bumped Steve lightly with her hip.

“Jesus, I’m gonna put a bell on you.” Steve laughed nervously looking over.

“Why are you so jumpy?” Robin asked “What if who’s mad, your dad?”

“No, never mind, I’m just thinking.” Steve smiled weakly.

“You know you can’t live your life trying to make him happy, right?”

“I could spend my whole life trying to make him happy and I’d never do it.” Steve laughed grimly.

“Do you want to come over, after work? Hang out. Maybe talk about your dad, or your crush, what did you say her name is?” Robin smiled mischievously.

“I didn’t, I don’t, I mean so what if I do?” Steve shrugged, “Nothing’s going to come of it, like absolutely nothing.”

“Well not if you don’t try, come on Steve. You’re a good guy, you’re sweet and brave, and you have the best hair.” Robin reached up ruffling his hair.

“Hey, hey.” Steve put his hands up defending his hair.

“Come on, let’s close up.” Robin walked around the counter and started turning off the display lights, and turned off the signs.

“I uh, I’m gonna go, but let’s do something another night.”

“Yeah, sure. You’re okay though?” Robin arched a brow.

“Yeah, I just need to go do something.” Steve grabbed his jacket and slipped it on.

“Is it crush stuff?” Robin inquired.

“I, uh, I, I’m not sure.” Steve reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out his gloves.

“You know when I realized, how much I liked Monica, I took her a pizza.”

“Oh yeah, I remember when you did that.” Steve smiled.

“Food is kind of magical you know, and it’s just a great excuse to hang out with someone, sharing a meal.” Robin pulled on her coat.

“What if, what if, this um, hypothetical crush has already eaten?”

“Monica had already eaten, but she ate some pizza with me anyways.” Robin tilted her head watching Steve.

“Yeah?” asked Steve looking at Robin curiously.

Steve opened the door, the snow was thick and everything was covered in mounds of pristine white.

“Just a thought.” Robin said as she stepped out and turned to lock the door.

“Holy Moses, it’s freezing.” Robin bounced a little, “Okay, good luck, whatever you do.” Robin hugged Steve quickly and dashed over to her car.

Steve got in his car, drove to Rossini’s and ordered a pizza to go.

********

Steve was worried he wouldn’t find his way back to Billy’s, everything looked different blanketed in snow and he’d walked from Billy’s trailer to his car he’d been so focused on Billy that he hadn’t paid attention to his surroundings. Steve took a couple wrong turns, but got his bearings pretty quickly and ended up on the right narrow bumpy road, trees were leaning over the winding path, heavy with snow. Steve pulled over alongside the shape of the Camaro, it was buried under a half foot of snow and a tarp. There was a soft light coming from the front room of the trailer, through the thin curtains. Steve got out of the car, the pizza box was heavy and balanced on one palm. He took deep breath, he was very nervous, he couldn’t remember the last time he’d been so nervous.

Steve went up the steps and knocked loudly. He wondered if that was too loud, if that was going to make Billy mad.

“Ugh.” Steve muttered and took a half step back when he heard the door unlock.

Billy was standing in the warm glow of lamp light, he was dressed in layers, he eyed Steve for a breath and then looked down at the pizza.

“Hey.” Steve said quickly.

“You delivering pizzas now?” Billy asked drolly.

“Yeah, yeah. Got an order for a large pepperoni and mushroom?”

“Sounds pretty good.” Billy said, looking unsure.

“It’s the best, it’s from Rossini’s.” Steve tapped the name emblazoned on the box top.

“I uh, seem to be light on cash.” Billy leaned in the door jam watching Steve, his eyes creasing with a subdued smile.

“Oh, well…” Steve looked around and shrugged.

“Guess I’ll have to think of another way to pay you for it, maybe we can come to some kind of arrangement.” Billy stepped back clearing the entrance for Steve.

Steve let out a nervous laugh, he knew Billy was just pulling his chain, but really wanted Billy to think of another way to _pay_ for his pizza. He stepped in and looked around. There was a small space heater near the corner and a cardboard box covered with a blanket.

“Have a seat.” Billy gestured at the couch.

Billy was surprised to see Steve, and he was also famished, he didn’t know which was more exciting, Steve or the pizza.

Billy sat down and flipped open the lid, the pizza was steaming hot and smelled like heaven, he reached in and grabbed two slices and folded them in half and took a bite.

Steve picked up a slice and took a bite watching Billy eat. Billy wiped the corner of his mouth with his thumb and sucked the excess sauce off of it looking at Steve. Steve blushed and looked away.

“You got a space heater. Really helps.” Steve shrugged off his jacket, it wasn’t warm, but it was tolerably cool and much nicer inside the trailer than outside.

Billy nodded and glanced at the heater and the box beside it and back at Steve. He was surprised that Steve had bothered to come back, let alone with a hot pizza on a snowy night.

Steve was so nervous about what to say that he ended up saying nothing. He watched Billy sit back on the couch working his way through a second set sandwiched slices. Steve slowly started to relax, he leaned back into the couch cushions, and sighed. It was good, he thought, to be there with Billy, alone together, it seemed like lately all he did was work, or chauffeur around Henderson and hide in his bedroom when he was at home. Now that Jonathan was gone Robin was his only friend, and he loved hanging out with her, but he worried that he’d wear out his welcome, she was always looking out for him or trying to. She was a good friend. Steve smiled softly and wiped his hands on his jeans, he looked over at Billy surprised to meet Billy’s gaze.

“I didn’t think you’d come by.” Billy confessed.

“You said I could.” Steve said.

Billy nodded, “Do you want a drink? I’ve got water and tea.” Billy stood up, his arms folded.

“Um, I’ll have whatever you’re having.” Steve stood up too, and watched Billy’s brow crease lightly,

“Tea.” Billy walked into the kitchenette with Steve hot on his heels.

Billy set the kettle on the stove and turned on the burner. He could feel Steve’s eyes on him, Billy glanced over and twitched a brow. He wasn’t used to being around people anymore, at least not ones that were so focused on him, outside of Dr. Owens.

“Did you work today?” Billy asked.

Billy hated small talk, but Steve was so quiet, Billy was afraid he was bored.

“Yeah. I’m at Family Video, it’s pretty easy.” Steve pulled at the cuffs of his sweater and then folded his arms.

“Huh.” Billy replied, “doesn’t that freak Keith from the arcade work there?”

“Yeah, he’s pretty much my boss.”

“No way.” Billy snorted a laugh, “What’s that like?”

“I mean, it’s no big deal, Robin handles him pretty well.”

“Robin? I thought she worked at Scoops? She’s that band nerd, right?”

“Yeah, well, yes we worked at Scoops together, now the Video place, but she’s not, she’s not a nerd, she’s actually really cool.” Steve put his hands in his pockets not knowing what to do with his limbs.

“Are you boning her, Harrington?” Billy pulled a couple mugs out of the cupboard and eyed Steve.

“What? No, no man, it’s not like that.”

“What’s a matter, she turn you down?”

“Not exactly.” Steve frowned.

“She’s not falling for King Steve, what’s wrong pretty-boy, you still missing your balls? That Wheeler chick really did a number on you.” Billy goaded.

“Robin’s a lesbian.” Steve said defensively, and wished he could snatch the words out of the air.

“Yeah right. Keep telling yourself that.” Billy laughed and then paused, looking at Steve curiously, “Are you serious?”

“Yeah, yes. Just don’t tell anyone.”

“Don’t worry pretty boy, I don’t talk to anyone, but you… I guess.” Billy dropped the teabags into the mugs and glanced at Steve.

“I, uh, I’m not supposed to tell anyone is all.” Steve mumbled.

“I don’t care if she’s a lesbian, do you? Does it bug you? That she’s a queer?” Billy’s voice had gone soft and low.

“No, does it bug you?” Steve asked his voice pitching up.

“I don’t give a shit.” Billy turned the flame off the kettle it was whistling lowly. “Little surprised you don’t care.”

“I mean, a lot of people are gay, or bisexual, like David Bowie, and Freddie Mercury…” Steve placed his hands around his steaming cup of tea, “…me.”

“You’re not gay.” Billy challenged.

“I’m not straight.” Steve responded defensively.

“So did you _really_ like Nancy?”

“Yeah, I did. But that, she’s, I’ve liked guys too. Just haven’t ever, you know, like um… a guy…”

“Is that why you kissed me, in the shower?” Billy’s voice was so low it was hard for Steve to hear the question.

“Yes.” Steve sighed waiting for Billy to deck him and throw him out the door, or maybe through the window.

“Unbelievable.” Billy laughed dryly.

Billy walked back over to the couch and sat down, he turned looking at Steve who was still standing by the stove holding his cup.

“You want to come sit down?” Billy coaxed.

Steve walked over and sat down, feeling slightly less nervous. They sat in a silence that felt heavy to Steve, he was certain his crush was doomed, but hoped they’d be friends.

“Did you go to Marion today?”

“No, too much snow.” Billy made a face and squinted at his cup thinking, “Have you seen Tommy around? If you do tell him he’s a deadman.”

“Haven’t seen him or that Jason guy. I’ve been keeping my eyes peeled. I don’t know what that was about.” Steve shook his head, “Thanks again, for jumping it.”

“So you going monster hunting after this?” Billy asked teasingly.

“No.” Steve laughed and pressed his palms over his face, feeling embarrassed.

“Fucking nut.”

“Yeah, it’s all part of my allure.” Steve laughed.

  
“Keep telling yourself that.” Billy said.

The pair of them fell into quiet conversation, about Hawkins, about playing basketball, and the other kids they’d gone to school with. Billy talked about winter in San Diego, spending all his time at the beach even when it rained, but he didn’t talk about California for long. After a spell they fell into a comfortable silence, listening to the hum of the space heater and the wind buffeting the thin walls of the trailer.

“Do you remember when you asked me if this was real?” Steve asked breaking the silence.

“Yeah.” Billy said slowly.

“Does, do you, does that happen, I mean, often, that you’re not sure if something is really happening?”

Billy shrugged sinking deeper into the couch, he drew a breath and wondered why it mattered, if Steve was worrying that he was hanging out with a mad man.

“Sometimes, but it’s usually really brief.” Billy admitted, “And it’s bad, like I think bad things are happening, and then it kind of goes away… and, I guess seeing that guy, and Tommy ganging up on you, it was. It was bad. That guy, he reminded me of…” Billy shut his mouth tightly, his jaw clenching, holding in words and grinding down feelings.

“If you get that feeling again, just tell me. I’ll let you know. What’s real.” Steve spoke carefully.

Billy sat still and then leaned over and looked Steve in the eyes, “I’m not crazy.”

“I know, neither am I, but I’ve seen stuff that’s not real too. Bad stuff.”

“Bullshit.”

Steve looked at Billy’s lips and licked his own, and then Billy’s eyes.

“I’m not bullshit. I don’t do bullshit. Say bullshit to my face one more time and I’ll show you how much I mean what I’m saying.” Steve said heatedly.

Steve was so closeto Billy he could count Billy’s eyelashes. Steve’s heart felt like it was about to explode in his chest, he’d been angry for just a flash, but now he was feeling something entirely different.

“Okay, King Steve.” Billy said softly, “I believe you.”

“Good.” Steve realized he was holding the front of BIlly’s hoodie in his fists, he released the fabric slowly and smoothed it with his fingers, resting his palms on Billy’s chest, he could feel Billy’s heart pounding underneath the fabric.

“Bout time you learned to hold your ground.” Billy leaned back in an attempt to appear relaxed.

Steve sat back his head spinning. He adjusted the cuffs of his sweater with nervous fingers and saw that it was already a quarter passed midnight.

“Shit, it’s late.” He said sitting up.

“Is it?” Billy asked feeling a bit dazed.

“Yeah, I better get going.” Steve stood up, his legs felt wobbly.

Billy stood up and looked around the trailer feeling like he’d just landed on the moon, he’d not seen that side of Steve since the fight at Byer’s place and there was something about it that turned Billy on. Steve opened the door and turned around quickly nearly knocking into Billy.

“Can. I come by, again?” He asked in a rush of words.

“Yeah.” Billy said.

“Okay. Goodnight.” Steve bounded off the steps and got in his car. He drove home through the snow, wishing he’d never gotten off the couch, wishing he was still there sitting beside Billy Hargrove.

_____________________________________________________________________________________

**Part 9**

**Human Behavior, Animal Instinct**

“You still don’t have the heater working, do you?” Sam Owens adjusted his desk phone further away from the pile of papers and folders on his desk, as he spoke. The line was crackling horribly. “I’ve been trying to get a guy out there to set up the phone line, but it’s like II’m asking them to hike out to the Yukon or something.”

“It’s fine.” Billy answered, his back rested against to the phone booth’s glass, he watched the gas station attendant, the guy was wearing dirty coveralls and flipping through a porno-mag at the counter, it looked warm in there.

“Maybe I can come out with a friend and take a look at the heater, you’ve got gas and electricity I mean really it should be working, uh, let me just see what my schedule’s like.”

“Don’t sweat it Doc, I’ll take care of it.” Billy looked down, Tank, his opossum, was trying to crawl out of the front of Billy’s jacket, Billy gently poked his nose and watched as Tank crawled into his hands and wrapped his tail around Billy’s fingers.

“Did you make it over to the market, is that where you’re calling from?”

“Yeah.” Billy lied.

Billy could hear Owen’s hand cover the mouth piece, he was speaking to someone in his office. Billy heard the sound of papers being shuffled around and a woman’s voice, her words indiscernible, her tone rushed.

“Hey, Billy, I need to go, but I’ll see you after the holidays, and if it gets too cold, let me know. I can get you a hotel room or something for a week, and in the mean time get the phone hooked up and the heater fixed.”

“I can take care of myself.” Billy said impatiently, he hated how desperate he felt, how alone, “I’ll see you at our next appointment.”

“Alright, alright, but if you have an emergency, if it gets too cold, call my house number okay?”

“Sure.” Billy hung up the phone before Dr. Owens could say anything else.

Billy lingered inside the phone booth, he reached down and picked up the battered phone book that was attached to a binder which was chained to the bottom of the phone. He flipped through the pages until he found the residential section, and then to letter H. He ran his index finger down the names till it rested on the only Harringtons in Hawkins. He signed heavily and watched Tank crawl up his chest, he felt Tank’s little paws, on his skin as the critter curled up on his neck under his hair.

It had been three days since Steve had shown up with pizza. Billy dug some coins out of his pocket and then put them back.

“I’m fucking freezing, there’s no way we’re going to the market. You’ll just have to dine on frozen peas and baloney till tomorrow.” Billy scooped Tank off his neck and put him inside his jacket, with grim resignation he opened the phone booth door and started his cold trek home.

By the time he got to the trailer his jeans were soaked from walk and his chest felt tight, he put Tank in his box next to the space-heater and covered it,Billy curled up on the couch, wrapped in all four of his blankets, he told himself he’d just rest for a little while, his stomach growled and he curled tightly trying to ignore it.

Billy awoke to the sound of a car engine, headlights were making his curtain’s glow. Billy felt a rush of adrenaline thinking his father was home, and then remembered he no longer lived on Cherry, no longer had to answer to Neil.Billy untangled himself from his blankets and leaned over to check on Tank. Inside the box Tank was curled up in a perfect ball. Billy recovered the box and walked to the door, his legs were tingling and he felt a little dizzy, he wasn't sure if it was from hunger or the thought of Steve.

“Hey!” Steve was at the base of the stairs, he had a couple grocery bags and smile so big and sincere on his face that Billy thought Steve might be high.

“Harrington.” Billy replied evenly.

“I keep forgetting to ask what your number is. I uh, I thought, well I, I brought some stuff, for sandwiches?” Steve ended with a question.

“I could eat.” Billy said.

Billy couldn’t remember the last time he’d wanted to hug someone, but it hit him hard as he stood there looking at Steve’s goofy expression as it split into an even bigger smile than before.

“Great, good. I uh wanted to come earlier, but I was working, and then I was going to go over to the diner, but they’re closed. The power’s out on that whole block. So,” Steve came up the steps as he spoke, “So I just went to the market.”

Billy stepped back making room for Steve to come inside. Billy headed into the kitchen area and like before, Steve was close behind him. Billy wasted no time getting out the two plates he had in the cupboard and setting them on the table. He watched Steve unpack the grocery bags, it was as good as watching a magic trick, deli sliced turkey, a small jar of mustard, a jar of pickles, a head of lettuce and two bright orange tomatoes, followed by a loaf of wheat-bread, and a block of cheddar cheese, a bag of Oreos and a carton of milk, potato chips, eggs and some red apples and green pears. The last two thing Steve put on the table were a bottle of vodka and a bottle of orange juice.

Billy paused looking at all the food, he couldn’t believe it. He wondered why Steve was being so nice, why he wasn’t off hanging out with Robin, even if she was a dyke, she had to be more fun than sitting around in Billy’s ice-box of a trailer.

“Is this okay?” Steve looked at Billy, his eyes flicked over Billy’s face.

“Yeah.” Billy nodded and started constructing sandwiches, “This is a lot of food, I could pay you back.”

“Nah, I mean, just you know, don’t worry about it.” Steve sat down watching Billy slice a tomato, “I could be the bar tender.”

“The glasses are up there.” Billy nodded towards the cupboard. Billy glanced at the eggs, “You planning on staying for breakfast?”

“Uh, no, I, I could… if you want me to.” Steve’s cheeks went pink and then his eyes went down to the carton of eggs that Billy was tapping with the tip of his knife, “Oh, oh, no I mean, I was just, I mean, I got those incase you wanted an egg sandwich, I thought, you know, well I remember you had them a couple times, at school.”

“I didn’t know you were taking notes, are you stalking me, Harrington?”

“Ha, yeah, that’s it, you got me.” Steve let out a nervous laugh and puffed out a breath of air.

Billy watched as Steve filled both of their glasses to the brim with vodka and orange juice.

“How’s your buddy Robin?”

“She’s good.” Steve answered, as he unzipped his jacket, “She’s, good.” Steve repeated and looked at Billy, “How about you?”

“Same as before, you just saw me three days ago.” Billy said softly as he pushed a plate over to Steve and sat down across from him.

“Thanks.” Steve picked up his sandwich and took a bite nodding,”This is really good.” He added around a mouth full of food.

Billy sat down and started eating, he didn’t know what to say, things felt forced one moment and then easier than breathing next. He watched Steve eat, watched his long fingers pluck up chips, and pinch off bits of crust, watched him bite into an apple slice, his lips momentarily glossy with juice. He watched Steve’s throat work as he took a couple long gulps out of his glass. He smiled when Steve wiped his mouth with the back of his hand like a child.

“What?” Steve asked braking Billy’s concentration.

“What, nothing.” Billy said briskly.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” Steve cocked his head.

“Should I avert my eyes, your majesty?” Billy shook his head looking down a this plate, he could feel heat rising up his throat because he’d been caught staring.

“No.” Steve laughed a little and picked up his sandwich and continued eating.

The conversation ebbed and flowed, Billy spent most of his time just watching Steve eat and worrying that Steve would leave as soon as he was done eating. Billy stood up and cleared the table, the vodka was making him feel warm and docile, while the food made him feel sleepy and very full.

Steve handed Billy his glass, refilled to the brim. Billy accepted it and took a sip off the top. He heard Steve laugh softly.

:What are you laughing at chuckles?” Billy heard himself slur his words, just a little.

“You’re um, just, steady on there.” Steve reached over and touched Billy’s shoulder lightly.

“I haven’t had a drink in a long time.” Billy confessed.

“Maybe you shouldn’t have another one.” Steve reached out to take back the drink he’d just handed Billy.

“Hands off, Harrington.” Billy took a long swig.

“i’m not, I’m, it’s fine. It’s not like you’re driving anywhere.”

“You don’t know that, maybe I”m gonna to take your BMW for a spin, rich-boy.” Billy took a second swallow looking Steve in the eyes.

“You know I’m not rich, my dad is, and it’s not like he’s a millionaire.” Steve shook his head.

“What’s a matter, you choking on that silver-spoon you were born with?” Billy poked his index finger in Stave’s chest.

“I’m not saying I’ve had it rough, I’m just saying it’s not my money. He’s made that really clear.” Steve wrapped his hand around Billy’s and held onto it.

Billy swayed a bit looking at Steve’s hand wrapped around his own, Steve’s hands were soft, his fingers long and tapered at the finger tip.

“Even your hands are posh.” Billy murmured.

“ _Posh_?” Steve laughed.

“I like your hands, they’re kind of square, like you’d be a great at building things, or a… a sculptor, like these hands mean business.” Steve smiled looking down at Billy’s hands.

“Yeah, I”m good at hitting things.” Billy looked down watching Steve’s finger tips run over Billy’s calloused knuckles, they’d been cut and scraped many times over trying to get the Camaro back into shape. Billy moved back till Steve released his hand.

  
“I need to do something.” Billy said.

Billy walked over to the table and picked up and apple slice and headed to the living room. He knelt down by the box and pulled back the towel. He reached in and shifted the dish towels around looking for Tank. Tank was gone. Billy dropped the apple slice in the box and stood up looking around, he didn’tthink that Tank would have gone too far from the heater.

“Everything okay?” Steve asked.

“Hold on.” Billy answered as he lifted the blankets off the couch looking for his pet.

“What are you looking for?” Steve asked.

Billy shook his head, he worried that Tank might have burrowed into the bottom of the couch. He signed heavily and set his drink down on the coffee table, preparing to tear the trailer apart until he found Tank. He stood up and turned looking down he short hallway, wondering if Tank had ventured off into the bathroom or his bedroom.

“OH! SHIT! OH, SHIT!” Steve yelped.

Billy was nearly bowled over, as Steve jumped in his arms. Billy looked at the floor where Steve was looking and there was Tank, his tiny maw stretched wide, he was making a breathy hissing noise.

“It’s just Tank, there you are, you little shit.” Billystepped sideways, Steve was throwing him off balance he had Billy by his shoulders and one leg wrapped around one of Billy’s calves.

“It’s a possum, he’s just a possum. Jesus.” Billy blurted a laugh and it turned into a cackle, he wrapped his arms around Steve tilting one direction and then the other, Steve was holding onto him for dear life.

“Oh shit, I thought, I thought…” Steve pressed his forehead in Billy’s neck and let loose a nervous giggle.

“It’s a possum, you big baby.” Billy could barely get the words out he was laughing so hard.

“I, okay, fine. It’s just, _who_ has possums in their house?” Steve gasped.

“Me.” Billy smiled. “He’s my attack possum.”

“Really?” Steve looked at Billy with wide eyes.

“No!” Billy fell into another fit of laughter, he wrapped his arms around Steve, he hadn’t laughed so hard in a long time, he felt breathless and his ribs were starting to hurt, and it was so farcical that he fell into another fit of laughter.

“Okay, okay, okay. He’s not, he just, I didn’t expect… I mean come on.” Steve laughed into Billy’s neck holding on to him. “Oh geeze, I feel like a jackass.”

Steve turned his face and Billy blinked out tears from laughing so hard, he tried to focus on Steve, but Steve was so close it was impossible. He felt Steve’s mouth close over his own, then part and press again, his lips were warm and dry, and then his hot wet tongue filled Billy’s mouth. Billy returned the kiss, feeling a different kind of hunger than the pangs he’d been experiencing earlier. They exchanged several long kisses, their tongues gliding and chasing. Billy’s arms closed tightly around Steve of their own accord. Billy stepped back, heat rushing over his core, spreading like wild fire.

“He’s just hungry.” Billy stepped around Steve and scooped Tank up in his hands.

Steve looked down at Billy’s hands, his expression skeptical, “Won’t he bite you?”

“He nips, but not much,” Billy grabbed the apple slice out of the box and sat down, he looked up at Steve, “Sit down.”

Steve sat down, his eyes on Tank, his expression had grown open and curious, his head titling. Billy watched Steve lean closer to Tank.

“I guess he is kind of cute.” Steve squinted, “What does he eat?”

“Whatever I feed him, I need to go to the library.”

“I can take you.” Steve said.

“Here.” Billy put Tank in Steve’s hands quickly.

  
“Oh, okay, alright. Um, hey. Hi.” Steve looked down at Tank.

Billy held the apple slice near Tank’s nose, and watched as Tank sniffed it, licked it and started chewing.

“He’s a noisy eater.” Steve smiled watching Tank eat.

“Not so scary, is he?” Billy said petting Tank’s head with his index finger.

“No, not really.” Steve reached over and gently pet Tank’s head, his fingers brushing Billy’s. “I mean, I guess once you start feeding any wild animal, you can kind of build up trust, you know… dangerous and wild creatures can be domesticated with the right pizza.”

Billy frowned and looked Steve, who was wearing a big goofy grin on his face, he waggled his brows at Billy and laughed.

“It’s gonna take more than pizza and sandwiches to tame me, Harrington.” Billy looked at Tank’s shining black eyes, he seemed to be listening intently.

“Maybe I like you a little feral.” Steve nudge Billy and leaned over and stole a kiss.

Billy returned the kiss, and then stood up with, he could feel his cheeks glowing, he looked down at Tank seated in Steve’s hands as he spoke, “He’s gotta have some protein…” Billy went into the kitchenette.

Steve followed him and leaned on the counter watching tear off little strips of sliced turkey and feeding them to Tank.

“Hey.” Steve said softly, handing Tank to Billy.

Billy glanced up at Steve and then looked down at Tank, averting his eyes.

“Is it okay? I mean, the kissing?” Steve asked.

“It’s no big deal.” Billy said.

“Uh, yeah, no, no, no. I think it’s a big deal, and if you don’t want me to?” Steve tilted his head trying to get a better look at Billy’s face, his hair had fallen forward a bit obscuring his expression.Steve reached over and moved back Billy’s unruly curtain of curls.

Billy fixed his eyes on Steve’s and handed him Tank, Steve cupped his hands quickly looking down at the little marsupial that was sniffing Steve’s fingers, his thick tail draping around Steve’s wrist.

“The kissing is, it’s, whatever.” Billy

“Should I stop? Do you like it?” Steve could hear himself, he sounded hurt and frustrated, because he was.

“Yeah, I like it. You’re not a bad kisser.” Billy attempted to sound cavalier.

Billy went and plopped down on the couch leaving Steve standing by the sink with Tank crawling up his chest.

Steve sighed and went and sat down next to Billy, leaving a space between the two of them. He wondered if Billy was just putting up with the kissing because he was lonely. Maybe Billy thought Steve wouldn’t come around if Billy told him to stop. Steve suddenly felt overwhelmingly sad, but he didn’t want to talk about it anymore, and he didn’t want to sit in silence either.

“So why’d you name him Tank?” Steve asked.

“He was sleeping under the hood of the Camaro next to the gas tank when I found him. I thought he was dead.” Billy’s voice had a low growl that Steve loved.

Billy reached over and took Tank from Steve’s hands and placed the well fed opossum in his box and covered it with a tattered towel.

“He probably would have frozen out there.” Steve leaned back on the couch, he rubbed his palms together wondering if he should go now, or if Billy wanted him to stay, or if Billy even liked having him around, Steve doubted it. He was pretty certain Billy just needed somebody around and Steve was the only one that was and that was good enough for now.

“What’s wrong with you?” Billy asked gruffly.

“What?” Steve looked startled, “Nothing.”

“You look,” Billy frowned, “…sad.”

“I’m tired.” Steve smiled weakly.

Steve ran his hands over his legs, and then pressed his hair back. Billy watched Steve fidgeting.

“I better get going.” Steve got up and grabbed his jacket, he put it on quickly not looking at Billy.

Billy stood up and watched Steve go out the front door shutting it behind himself without another word.

_____________________________________________________________________________________

**Part 10**

**Reckoning**

“You’ve been really down for like a week. What’s going on?” Robin sounded genuinely concerned, her usual ribbing and knowing looks had been replaced by a worried expression and sympathetic inquiries.

“I’m fine.” Steve insisted, “It’s almost Christmas, there’s snow, and um, it’s almost 1986, that’s gotta be good right? It has to be better than 85. Honestly, I wish I’d slept through last year, or enlisted in the army.”

“You are not allowed to join the army, don’t even joke about it. They’d ruin you, I mean look what they did to my uncle Jimmy.” Robin threw up her hands.

“I’ve never met your uncle Jimmy.” Steve said.

“I know, because he never leaves his house!” Robin retorted.

“I’d be a horrible soldier, anyway. I mean come on, first thing they’d do,” Steve made a buzzing sound and ran his fist over his head pretending to shave his head, “I can’t have that.” He pursed his lips and shook his head, “It’d be a crime against humanity.” He nodded agreeing with himself.

“You know you’re more than just a great head of hair, right dingus?” Robin smirked.

“Yeah, sure.” Steve said noncommittally.

“I think next year will be better. I really do. I can feel it.” Robin said thoughtfully.

She reached over and flicked the jingle bell that was hung around Steve’s neck next to a little card that had the words;

_Ask me about our holiday gift certificates!_

“Well, if there’s no giant monsters trying to kill us and everyone we know, then yeah. It’ll be better.” Steve stepped back placing his hand over the bell.

“ _Shh_.” Robin looked over where Keith was rearranging a window display, her eyes large.

“What are you two talking about?” Keith looked over at them, his eyes narrowed he was wearing a bright red Santa hat trimmed with fake holly.

“Godzilla 1985. It didn’t capture the true horror of the original, it’s lost its meaning because people forget about its relevance to the events the took place in Hiroshima.” Robin pushed a cart at Steve with a bunch of videotapes that needed to be shelved.

“That’s a very valid point, Buckley.” Keith nodded.

“Thank you.” Robin nodded, her felt deer antlers waggled sagely on her head.

Steve rolled the cart out into an isle and started shelving the rental tapes. He was glad they’d be closed in less half an hour, he didn’t know what he was going to do with his night off, or the next two days, but being away from the shop sounded like a great start. He’d like to spend time with Billy, he thought moodily, but it was pretty clear that Billy wasn’t too interested in Steve, not the way Steve was interested in him.

“I can be his friend. I can. I can…” Steve muttered under his breath as he shelved. The door chimed as customers entered. Steve didn’t bother to look up, he could hear a customer headed his direction, he squinted at the VHS box in his hand trying to look extra busy, and very focused, which of course he was neither.

“Hi.” Tommy said.

Steve looked over and saw Tommy standing there. Steve looked around the shop for that guy Jason, but it looked like Tommy had come alone.

“What?” Steve said.

“I said, Hi.” Tommy said irritably.

“Yeah, I heard, _what_ do you want?” Steve put down the tapes that he’d hand under his arm, and squared up to face Tommy.

“Cool it, just hold on.” Tommy chewed the inside of his cheek, “about the other night, man, it got outta hand.”

“No shit.” Steve said icily.

“I, it was messed up.” Tommy looked everywhere but at Steve as he spoke.

“Yeah.” Steve agreed.

“My cousin, he’s kind of crazy.” Tommysaid by way of explanation.

To Steve, Tommy sounded more impressed than sorry for what his cousin had done.

“You think?” Steve snapped.

“Look dickhead,” Tommy frowned, “I’m not saying, I’m just - can we forget about it?”

“Sure.” Steve snorted.

“We used to be like brothers, man.” Tommy said.

“I changed, you didn’t.” Steve said.

Steve hadn’t realized that’s what had happened, but saying it aloud made him feel it to be true. They weren’t little kids anymore, Steve thought, they weren’t high schoolers, they were men now.

“What does that even mean, you’re so fucking weird. Ever since Nancy.” Tommy was frowning.

“It’s in the past. No hard feelings.” Steve didn’t rise to the bait of coming to Nancy’s defense. He was looking at Tommy, but thinking about Billy too, and the things they’d been through, what if they just left all that shit, all that bullshit, in the past?

“Yeah, okay.” Tommy said.

Steve stuck out his hand and Tommy shook it.

“I saw you in here, that’s why I came in.” Tommy said after a couple beats.

“Well, Merry Christmas.” Steve said picking up the VHS tapes, he didn’t have anything else to say.

“You too.” Tommy turned away and left the shop.

“Hey, what was that about?” Robin had moved so quietly that Steve hadn’t realized she was only one isle over.

“His cousin and, well me and him, we all, I mean… they started it _…_ out by the lake.” Steve rambled.

“Which lake, when were you at a lake?”

“Lake Jordan.” Steve said softly.

“Oh my god, were you looking for the fish-man?”

“No. Yes. I mean, I didn’t find him.” Steve smiled.

“I want the full story.” Robin pointed at Steve.

“I found Billy?”

“What?!” Robin leaned forward, her large blue eyes opened wide.

“Billy, he’s staying out in a trailer home.”

“Holy shit. You really did find the Monster of Lake Jordan.” Robin paused and then blurted out a laugh at her own joke.

“Hey! No, well, okay that is funny.” Steve chuckled and then cleared his throat.

“I thought he was dead, or taken into some weird secret base, or an invalid? There were so, so many rumors.” Robin shook her head.

“He was in a hospital for a while, he’s not said much about it.” Steve leaned on the cart, his expression pensive.

“You guys are talking now? Is he okay, like is he back to normal? Not that normal was all that great.” Robin pulled a face.

“He’s okay, he’s actually better, I think. He’s different. He said he sees things sometimes, like he hallucinates?”

“Should he be out there on his own?” Robin asked.

“I don’t think so, but I don’t think his dad wants him around.Technically Billy’s an adult.” Steve sighed.

“Have you asked Max? I mean, if he’s okay, or like I don’t know, she must know something.”

“No. I don’t want to ask her about Billy.He’ll tell me what he wants when he’s ready.”

“Alright enough chit-chat, let’s blow this popsicle stand.” Keith said from behind the counter,“It’s been dead for an hour. I knew we should have closed earlier.” Keith threw off his Santa hat and started turning off the lights.

Outside the doors Keith looked at the pair of them and said “Merry Christmas,” as he patted their shoulders.

“Merry Christmas, Keith.” Robin said.

“See you guys in two days.” Keith nodded, “We’re having a sale, don’t forget.”

“How could I.” Steve mumbled pulling off his jingle-bell.

“Don’t be a Grinch, Harrington.” Keith said.

“I’m not, Merry Christmas.” Steve looked at Keith and smirked.

Steve was still trying to figure out the guy, he didn’t dislike him, but he didn’t particularly like him either.

“Good night boys.” Robin said cheerily.

Robin knew if she lingered to talk to Steve that Keith would too, and she didn’t really want to ask more about Billy with Keith standing there, the less he knew about all of it the better he was off. Robin still had nightmares, about Russians, monsters, and things that never happened, darker pictures that her mind painted, of all the terrifying things that _could_ have happened.

Steve sat in his car and checked his watch it was 9:20. He wondered if he should go to Billy’s, to check on him, see if he needed any food. Steve ran his hands over his face and then put the car in reverse. He still wasn’t sure if he was driving home or to Billy’s. He decided if he was going to Billy’s he wasn’t going to show up empty handed so he drove to the diner. It was a Monday night, which meant he had just enough time to get there and put in his order before they closed.

Steve had just put the car in park, that’s when he heard a soft growling sound. Steve whipped his head left and right, and down at his feet. He wasn’t sure where the sound was coming from, he started to think that he’d imagined it up when he heard it again. He looked in the back seat of his car and saw a body laid across the back seat.

“Holy shit!” Steve clapped his hand over his mouth.

Steve stared at the sleeping form and by the waves of dark golden curls he knew it was Billy, although he face was obscured by his wild locks and shadows.

“Billy? Billy, are you okay? Hey?” Steve whispered he reached into the back seat and squeezed Billy’s shoulder.

“Billy?” Steve started to worry.

Billy’s eyes fluttered open, his jewel bright eyes seemed too distant at first, then focused on Steve.

“Steve.” Billy croaked, “I was waiting for you to get off work.” Billy cleared his throat and sat up, “You should lock your car, dumb-ass.”

“Thanks.” Steve said sarcastically.

Billy looked rough with sleep, and he had bags under his eyes, he was pale except for the flushed cheek he’d been sleeping on.

“You could have come in the shop you know, it was a lot warmer in there.” Steve said.

“I didn’t feel like it.” Billy said.

“Do you feel like eating?” Steve pointed at the restaurant they were parked in front of.

“I’m kinda light on cash.” Billy rubbed his red cheek as he peered out the window at the Diner’s sign.

“Don’t worry about it, come on let’s go order some food to go before they close.” Steve got out of the car, he opened the backseat door and saw that Billy wasn’t moving.

“I’ll wait here.” Billy said.

“What? Why?” Steve turned looking at the busy diner, there were so many people in there that the windows were fogging, a loud group teenagers came out. Steve recognized several of them and turned looking at Billy.

“I’ll be right back.” Steve said watching Billy shrink back into his seat, melting into the shadows and out of sight. “Don’t go anywhere. Okay?”

“Be right here, pretty boy.” Billy replied.

Billy watched Steve head inside, Steve paused at the entrance saying hi to a couple of girls that greeted him excitedly. Billy recognized Tina, and the other girl’s name was Clair, she moved close to Steve and put her hand on his arm and squeezed it. Billy frowned, watching Steve run his hand over his hair, he smiled and nodded at her, Billy couldn’t hear what she was saying, but watched as Steve shook his head no and gestured with his thumb signaling that he was going inside. Tina hooked her arm in Clair’s and they trotted after the group that they’d left the restaurant with. Clair looked back over her shoulder at Steve, but Steve was already inside at the counter.

“Fucking bitch.” Billy murmured.

Billy sat back and ran his thumb over his bottom lip remembering the kisses he and Steve had shared in the shower, and on the couch. He wondered if Steve was mad at him. Billy had walked across town in the goddamned snow to see Steve, but then when he’d been standing there in front of family video and there were people inside, in their Christmas sweaters picking movies and buying gifts, everyone just looked too normal, too happy, like everyone belonged exactly where they were, everyone except Billy.

Billy had stopped by the house. No one had been home which was what he’d hoped for. He managed to crawl in Max’s window and left a present on her bed, underneath her pillow, he didn’t wrap it, just covered it snuggly in a plastic grocery bag. It was a green hoodie, it had _Vans_ printed on the front. Billy had seen it when he was in Marion at a bike and skateboarding shop, maybe she’d never wear it, he wasn’t sure if she was still into the skateboarding scene. But he’d wanted to give her something. Of course he’d not had enough money, so he’d shoved it under his jacket along with the January issue of Thrasher magazine and some checkered shoe laces. He shook his head, thinking about what a stupid move that had been. If he’d been caught - shit would have really hit the fan. Who would look after Tank? Billy leaned his head back and sighed heavily, he wondered if Max still had a thing for Lucas, or if Neil had found out about the two of them. He wondered if she hated him for almost killing her and friends. He wouldn’t blame her if she did.Billy was startled when Steve opened the driver’s side door.

“Hey, come sit up front.” Steve had a couple bags in his hands, the car filled with the scent of fried food and hot chocolate. Billy got out of the back seat and hopped in the front.

“Here you go, grilled cheese and fries, a cup of tomato soup and a hot cocoa.” Steve smiled, “it was pretty busy in there, I mean they’re practically begging people to go home. I will _never_ overstay my welcome anywhere ever again, especially after working at Scoops. That whole joke of, _you don’t have to go home but you can’t stay here,_ makes so much sense. Working with the public is a nightmare.” Steve chattered opening his container of soup and taking a sip.

“Are we eating here?” Billy asked.

“It’s gonna be cold by the time we get to your place.” Steve said.

Billy nodded, agreeing silently and opened his soup and took a sip, tomato soup was not a favorite of his, but he was so hungry and cold that it was the best damn thing he’d ever put in his mouth. They both wolfed their food, the fries vanished, the sandwiches were demolished and the soup swallowed down while it was still steaming. They both started their hot chocolates after all the food was gone and Billy felt pleasantly sated also a little bummed that since they’d eaten there in the car there’d be no reason for Steve to come in.

Steve started the car and got the heater running, the warm air flowed up their legs and fogged the windows. Steve noodled with the vents and then backed out of the parking lot, he was humming something that Billy couldn’t make out, he seemed happy. Billy watched him, watched Steve’s dark eye scan the road as he pulled into the two way main drag, Steve met Billy’s eyes briefly and then looked out at the road, his lips moved as if he were about to say something, but Steve remained silent.

“I can’t believe you walked from Lake Jordan to town,” Steve shook his head.

“I hate snow.” Billy said as fresh flakes spiraled and dashed before the windshield. 

“Well, you’re not exactly dressed for it.”

“Neither are you.” Billy squinted at Steve’s clothes, they weren’t much heavier than what Billy was wearing.

“I wasn’t hiking in it, I was safe indoors.” Steve laughed, “Looks like the next wave is coming.”

“White Christmas bullshit.” Billy grumbled into his cup.

Steve thought about mentioning that Tommy had come in and what he’d said, but Billy looked tired, as if he might fall asleep there in the passenger seat. Steve cranked up the heater and kept his mouth shut, it may have been a hell of a long walk for Billy to get to the main strip, but driving to Lake Jordan was a short trip, Steve took side streets here and there, he drove extra slow. He was worried that Billy wouldn’t invite him in, since they’d already eaten together.

********

Steve cut the engine, and looked over at Billy. Billy hadn’t fallen asleep but he was staring out the window at the falling flakes and making no moves to get out of the car.

“Are you okay?”

“Fine.” Billy said as he unlocked the door.

“It’s a pretty good snow fall, looks like maybe two inches since we left the diner, maybe more.” Steve babbled, not wanting to say good night.

“I read the paper, it said we’d get close to a foot by Christmas Eve.”

“It’ll be more.” Steve said knowingly.

“Great.” Billy said sarcastically.

“You coming in?” Billy asked as he got out of the car.

“Yeah, sure.” Steve pulled off his seatbelt and popped out of the car. He hadn’t dared hoped for an invitation but was elated to have received one, even if it wasn’t exactly done with warmth.

“Goddamit.” Billy was standing in snow up to his knee caps.

“It’s just snow.” Steve said, watching Billy shake out his leg like a cat that had stepped in a puddle.

Steve looked away shaking lightly with silent laughter.

“Hey Harrington, think fast.”

Steve looked over saw a blur of Billy coming right at him. Billy grabbed Steve round the middle and tackled him into a mound of pristine snow.

“Oh shit!” Steve gasped.

“It’s just snow!” Billy grabbed and handful of snow and rubbed it in Steve’s face.

Steve kicked his legs as he reached up and grabbed Billy’s wrists.

“Hey, hey!” Steve spat out snow and bucked beneath Billy.

“Don’t you want to make snow angels?!” Billy twisted his wrists and slipped of Steve’s grasp then and flattened Steve’s arms out wide.

“Asshole!” Steve twisted and coughed out a mouthful of snow and laughed.

“Isn’t snow the best? Merry Christmas!” Billy said as he released Steve’s wrists and then piled snow on his face.

“Dick!” Steve sat up and twisted just enough to get Billy on his back and moved up so he was sitting on Billy’s chest, his knees on Billy’s biceps. He felt Billy try to twist free but he knew he had him.

“I’ve got you Hargrove!” Steve leaned over him smiling down at him.

“Took you long enough, pretty boy.” Billy snorted, his eyes twinkling with mirth.

Steve lifted his weight off of Billy and stood up, taking Billy’s hand and pulling him on his feet. He thought about shoving Billy back in the snow, of maybe sliding his foot under Billy’s ankle and watching him go down in the snow with a thud, but he didn’t want to, instead Steve threw one arm around Billy’s waist and pulled him close, Billy’s cheeks were pink even in the weak light of the porch Steve could see that Billy was flushed and fighting off a smile.

“You better not underestimate me again, Hargrove.” Steve’s hand rested firmly on Billy’s waist keeping him close.

“It’s about time you brought your game up, only took a year.” Billy felt Steve’s hand on his side, he was strong, and he was holding Billy so close, it made Billy’s heart stutter in his chest.

Billy went up the steps and pulled out his keys, he was freezing, but he was also feeling giddy. He’d never played in the snow, “Gotta check on Tank.” Billy announced as he went in the trailer.

********

Billy brought all the blankets from the bed room and piled them on to the couch. The pair of them shrugged off their damp jackets and sat on the couch next to the electric space heater. Steve watched Billy, they were falling into that odd silence that was so new to them. Billy wasn’t taunting Steve, and Steve didn’t feel the overwhelming need to fill every second with chatter. There was no where else in the world that Steve wanted to be.

Soon They were seated shoulder to shoulder. Tank perched on Billy’s stomach. Steve had a small bowl of oatmeal and apple slices and shreds of sliced turkey.

“That looks disgusting.” Steve wrinkled his nose looking at the bowl.

“Your face is disgusting.” Billy retorted.

“Do you hear what horrible lies your father is telling me? He’s just jealous, it’s so sad.” Steve addressed Tank.

“I’m _not_ his father.” Billy snorted.

“You shelter and feed him, I mean, that’s more than most dad’s do for their kids, don’t be ashamed of your ugly son.” Steve blinked at Billy.

“He’s an opossum, he looks the way he’s supposed to, what’s your excuse?”

“Genetics and charm. You know my mom was Miss Teen Hawkins in ‘65 and Miss Wabash County in ‘67.” Steve took up the spoon and held it under Tank’s nose and watched him chomp up bites, his clever little paws holding onto the lip of the spoon. “You don’t look like Neil, your mom must have been a knock out.”

“She was.” Billy said, “You never told me your mom was hot, did she come by the pool? Maybe I have her number, I can give her a call and let her know you’ll be home late.”

“No. We have our own pool.” Steve scoffed. “Did you really have at thing for Mrs Wheeler, or was it the other way around?” Steve asked quietly.

“What? Who told you that?” Billy turned his head looking at Steve, genuinely surprised by what he was asking.

“There were rumors.”

“Small towns.” Billy said the words like a curse, and then tiredly added “Nothing happened.”

“Did you want something to happen?” Steve asked in a whisper, afraid of what the answer might be.

“Forget about it, Harrington.” Billy said with finality.

“Okay.” Steve nodded. He wondered why her, why not just keep messing around with Vickie, he figured Billy could have gotten with a lot of the girls. “Do you think you’ll move out of Hawkins?”

“Christ. Do you think I _want_ to live in this shit hole?” Billy griped.

“No, no one does, no one under thirty anyways.” Steve scooped out more food for Tank.

“Don’t worry your pretty head, you’ll get out of here before you’re thirty. You don’t fit in here, on the surface you do… but you know, being queer in a small town, it’s like being on death row, it’s only a matter of time.” Billy ran his finger’s over Tank’s back, his voice was sad and low.

“No kidding.” Steve murmured.

Steve looked at Billy, half expecting to see him looking at Steve with a curled lip, but all Steve saw in Billy’s eyes was a kind of tender mournfulness, a sort of sorrow that was so alien to that cool handsome face it gave Steve a pang of doubt. Steve wondered if he was seeing what he wanted to see.

Steve leaned over and palmed the side of Billy’s jaw and drew him into a kiss. Billy tucked his chin, but didn’t pull back and Steve leaned closer parting his mouth over Billy’s gently nipping and drawing till Billy’s lips parted. Steve turned his head and pressed his tongue into Billy’s mouth, Steve was half aware that Tank was pawing his way into the bowl of food.

Billy closed his eyes tightly, he reached across to Steve’s shoulder, thinking he might push him back, but instead he grasped tightly to the fabric of his sweater drawing him nearer. They exchanged several kisses, breaking for breaths, leaning for leverage. Billy turned away from Steve and scooped up Tank.

Tank’s maw and paws were covered in oatmeal and apple, he was grooming the sides of his nose and munching noisily.

“Time for you to get in your box.” Billy mumbled picking up the bowl as well and putting them it in the box with Tank.

“He’s getting too big for that box.” Steve said as he ran his hand over his head, wishing Billy hadn’t withdrawn from him, yet again.

“Yep.” Billy agreed as he closed the box flaps with Tank stowed inside.

They both settled back on the couch, still close, their legs rested against one another, their shoulders connected as they sat side by side. Steve let their shared silence spread on for several minutes, he could hear the second hand on his wristwatch ticking away, he listened to the soft sound of Billy’s breathing. The snow put the world beyond the trailer walls on mute.

“I don’t know when it happened.” Steve whispered.

Steve waited for Billy to ask him what happened, but Billy said nothing. Steve could feel the heat of him seeping into his skin.

“I mean, it’s not like you were ever nice to me.” Steve pressed on, hearing a soft quaver in his words.

“I’m not nice to anybody.” Billy said faintly, his words low and running into one another.

“No, I guess not. I just, I really…” Steve sighed and leaned his head back looking up a the ceiling. He took several long breaths, trying to find his courage. He remembered his grandfather Otis had said _‘you’ll regret the things you didn’t do, the things you didn’t say, when you’re an old man like me._

“It wouldn’t be hard,” Steve started and stopped.

Billy remained silent.

“I don’t expect anything, I just, kissing you, I don’t, I’m, I really… I like you, Billy. I like you a lot, I might…love you.” Steve’s voice was barely above a whisper, but he’d said, he said it an he meant it. He was head over heels in love with Billy Hargrove.

Billy leaned against him. He was warm, his body relaxed against Steve’s. Steve felt his heart leap into overdrive. Billy wasn’t shoving him away, or calling him names, or laughing in his face. Steve turned trying to read Billy’s expression. Billy made a soft burbling snoring sound.

“You’re asleep?” Steve said in wonder and dismay.

Billy slept on, dead to the world, snuggled up against Steve’s side.

Steve sat there feeling foolish. He wished he could sleep too, but felt like he’d never sleep again. He reached across Billy and pulled the blanket across his shoulder. After a couple minutes he remembered he had the book that Robin had gifted him he pulled it out and started reading. Eventually Billy snuggled closer. A one point Billy grew tense, he appeared to be dreaming. Steve draped his arm around Billy and stroked Billy’s shoulder and hair till he felt the tension melt away. Steve read into the wee hours, wanting to sleep, but also feeling oddly content just to be there for Billy.

_____________________________________________________________________________________

**Part 11**

**Christmas Eve**

When Billy awoke he was warm, at some point in the night he’d half sprawled across Steve and taken up most of the space on the couch. Billy hadn’t realized how exhausted he’d been from walking from across town in the snow. He wasn’t even sure what they’d been talking about when he’d fallen asleep.Soft white light was seeping through the dingy curtains, his trailer was chilly. For once Billy didn’t mind the cold much because he had Steve next to him. Billy turned and rested his eyes on Steve, he didn’t want to wake him.

Steve was in the far corner of the couch, a book was in his lap. His head was tilted to the side and back, his neck exposed, lips parted. Glasses were sitting low on his nose. Billy stared at Steve’s new glasses.

Billy squinted at them, and then down a the paperback in Steve’s hand. It was some a science fiction book, Billy had heard of but never read. He was surprised Steve was into that sort of thing. Billy wondered if the glasses were for reading. He reached over and poked them up Steve’s nose. Steve blinked awake. He sat up and focused on Billy, his already large eyes were suddenly more owlish.

“It’s Christmas Eve.” Billy said.

“Yeah, Christmas Eve morning.” Steve rolled his neck and folded his arms across himself and shivered lightly.

“Didn’t know you were a science fiction geek.” Billy tapped the book.

“Oh, well. It was a gift. It’s pretty good.” Steve picked up the book and shoved it inside of his jacket.

Billy watched Steve squint around the room, his hair was wild from sleep, he looked younger and more innocent in his glasses. Billy thought they were kind of sexy, and the thought made him blush.

“Nice glasses. Nerd.” Billy said moving closer.

“What? Oh, yeah. My eyes man, I was getting headaches, turns out I just need them for reading though.”

Steve reached up to take them off, but Billy stayed his hand.

“They’re not totally lame.”

“Thanks?” Steve laughed, “I can see you just fine, just not like small print and you know, anyways…” Steve shrugged.

“Kind of look like a sexy accountant.” Billy cocked an eyebrow looking at Steve.

“What?” Steve laughed, “Shut up.” He turned away smiling.

Billy moved closer, and reached up straightening the frames on Steve’s face.

“Guess you’re just pretty enough to make these work.” Billy teased.

“If you keep calling me I’m pretty, I’ll start thinking you have a crush on me.” Steve eyed Billy.

“I don’t.” Billy lied.

Billy shifted back on the couch, his cheeks turning scarlet. Steve realized he was right and Billy, for once in his life didn’t have a snarky comeback.

“Where you goin’ Hargrove?” Steve purred as he leaned forward.

“What the hell are you doing?” Billy frowned, but his voice wavered uneasily.

“Just looking at you with fresh eyes.” Steve blinked at him.

Steve adjusted his frames on his face and winked at Billy.

“ _Nerd_.” Billy mumbled, as his cheeks grew hotter.

“Billy.” Steve said crawling closer, resting his hands on Billy’s shoulders.

“What, Harrington? I’m right here.” Billy growled, resting his hands on Steve’s wrists.

“You’re cute when you blush.” Steve looked down at Billy’s lips.

Billy parted his lips and then shut them, his jaw working on words that wouldn’t come. Steve leaned in and kissed him slowly, and then again, gentle warm chaste kisses.

“I might.” Billy said between kisses.

“You might what?” Steve asked. 

Steve closed his eyes and kissed Billy again, this time with more heat, and more pressure. He crawled on to Billy’s lap and wrapped his arms around Billy’s shoulders, pressed his fingers in Billy’s wild curls. Steve leaned back and pulled Billy on top, knitting his long legs in Billy’s, pressing his knee against Billy’s muscled thigh. Billy moaned into the kiss.

Steve ran his fingers down Billy’s back over the thick hooded sweater he was wearing and up underneath the layers of shirts that Billy was wrapped in and up the warm skin of his back all the way up to Billy’s shoulder blades, Billy moved under his hands, his muscles flowing like waves, Steve ground his hips, he was getting hard and wanted Billy to know it.

Billy moaned a low humming growl into Steve’s mouth.

“Look what you did.” Steve whispered into Billy’s ear and rolled his hips.

Billy pushed Steve off of him, and on to the floor. Steve sat up quickly, feeling like he had whiplash, he realized Billy was about to get away and reached out and grabbed his ankle.

“No. Nope. Where are you going?”

“I don’t… We. I.” Billy looked down at Steve’s hand and then his face, a train-wreck of expressions raced across Billy’s face.

“Are you freaking out because I’m a dude?” Steve asked calmly.

“No.” Billy snapped.

“No?” Steve repeated.

“Look, I’m gay, I’m fucking a fucking faggot, okay? I’m not bisexual, I’m not experimenting, I like dudes. Got it?” Billy yanked his ankle free, but then stood still.

Billy’s chest was rising and falling quickly. To Steve he looked frightened, and it wasn’t a look he was not used to seeing on Billy.

“So what’s the problem?” Steve stood up slowly.

“Ugh.” Billy clenched his fists.

Steve stepped forward and rested his hands gently on Billy’s, sliding his fingers between Billy’s.

“So, what’s the problem?” Steve said again, slowly and then kissed Billy’s cheek.

Steve could feel Billy trembling.

“I’m an asshole. I’m a mess, my body is all torn up, my mind is broken. I beat the shit out of you…you deserve better.” Billy mumbled.

“I don’t want better.” Steve kissed Billy’s opposite cheek.

“Fuck off.” Billy said.

“Nu-uh. I won’t.” Steve kissed Billy’s nose.

“I’ve never been with a guy.” Billy said quickly.

Steve opened his mouth, and then closed it quickly, then drew a breath to speak and then stopped himself.

“We can take it slow.” Steve said.

“You’re not gonna get bored?” Billy looked at Steve with his bright blue eyes.

“Bored, with you? That’s impossible, Hargrove.” Steve reached up and stroked Billy’s cheek.

“You’re fucking weird.” Billy’s cheek burned crimson.

“Can you maybe, just admit that you like me though? It would make me feel a little more, um… just you know.”

Billy sighed and frowned his cupid’s bow lips turning down in the corners.

“Fucking shit-head, I’ve liked you since I laid eyes on you.” Billy grumbled.

“Wow. Okay that’s not what I meant, exactly… I’ll take it though.” Steve nodded and then shook his head no, and then barked out a laugh.

“I like you too, I think I’m in love with you. No, that’s not true, I know I’m in love with you.” Steve spoke the words softly and with certainty.

“You son of a bitch.” Billy muttered.

“Again, wasn’t expecting that,” Steve started to say, but his words were cut short when Billy kissed him.

Billy pulled Steve onto the couch beside him, and they kissed until their lips were swollen. Steve was as hard as stone, and Billy’s jean’s were tented, but Steve didn’t shove his hands in BIlly’s jeans, despite desperately wanting to. Steve got up from the couch and did something like a crab walk into the restroom to jerk off. When he came out Billy wasn’t in the living room anymore, and the door to the bedroom was shut. Steve pressed his ear to the door and listened so intently he felt dizzy, then he was rewarded with the muted groan. Steve moved away from the door as quickly and silently as and sat on the couch feeling anything but casual and a renewed stirring was happening deep down in his groin.

Billy came out of the bedroom after a few seconds, looking flushed and somewhat guilty.

“Hey.” Billy said a little hoarsely.

“You want to come over for Christmas?” Steve asked brightly.

“What, and hang out with your parents?” Billy scoffed.

“Yeah.” Steve nodded.

“Can I bring Tank?”

_____________________________________________________________________________________

**Part 11**

**December 31st**

“Why do all these assholes come and light their goddamned fireworks by the lake?” Billy slammed the trailer door.

“It seems to be dying down, I mean once it’s midnight, people will realize they’re freezing their asses off and go back into town.” Steve consoled.

“Where the hell are those fucking pigs?”

“At least it stopped snowing.” Steve glanced at the phone, it had been installed two days ago. Steve had called the Hawkins Police Department to report illegal use of fireworks only five minutes ago, not that Billy had asked him to, Steve had just wanted to do something to help.

“Tank won’t come out of his box for dinner.” Billy dropped bowl of vegetables and chicken outside of the box and paced over to the window drawing the curtains tighter.

“Maybe because you’re yelling?” Steve whispered into his tumbler of whiskey.

“Fuckin’ hicks.” Billy muttered. He dug around in his pockets and then grabbed his jacket off the back of a chair and systematically went through every pocket.

“Here, here.” Steve walked over and handed Billy pack of smokes. Billy normally didn’t smoke in the house, because it was bad for Tank, but he seemed to be making an exception on account of the ballistics going off outside.

Billy snagged the cigarettes out of Steve’s hand and lit up. Steve walked over to the curtain and peered out, he could see the fireworks reflecting off the partially frozen lake, it was kind of beautiful, but considering the barrage of fireworks that had been used against the mind flayer, it made sense to him that Billy didn’t like them.

Steve knew most of the things that Billy didn’t like. Billy didn’t like loud sounds, he didn’t like crowds, he drank very little because being drunk made him nervous, and he consumed a very limited amount of caffeine because gave him the jitters, Billy also hated the smell of chlorine, and didn’t care for gas stations either because of all weird smells. Although Steve would never say it to Billy’s face, he’d grown very sensitive to just about everything, which meant he hated most things. Steve was amazed that somehow Billy liked him.

Steve sipped his drink and went into the bedroom, the heater had been fixed, courtesy of Doc Owens, who Billy had said very little about, but Steve was pretty sure that they’d become something like friends, maybe not in the traditional sense, but Steve was fairly certain that Billy trusted Owens, and that meant a lot to Steve. The trailer was pleasantly warm. Steve stripped down to his boxers and a t-shirt and laid on the bed, listening to Billy pace around like a caged wolf. Steve wanted to comfort him, but he thought giving him a space might be the best plan of action.

After several minutes Billy came in the room and looked at Steve. Steve looked up from his book, he was wearing his glasses.

“Hey, you doing okay?”

“No.” Billy said. “You don’t have to stay here, I’m sure there’s plenty of parties going on.”

“I don’t want to go to a party. I want to be here, with you.”

Billy grunted and glanced at his watch, “It’s not even ten yet.”

Steve looked at Billy, “Do you want to go for a drive?”

“No.”

Steve nodded and looked down at his book, he didn’t know why he was trying to read, “Do you want me to read to you?”

“I’m not a five year old.” Billy snapped.

“Fine.” Steve set the book on the bed, he took off his glasses and put them on the bedside table.

“Fine?” Billy growled.

“Billy.” Steve got off the bed and walked over and stood in front of his boyfriend, just as he stepped in front of him a particularly loud series of pops exploded outside, the flair of the bottle rockets glowed through the curtains.

“Fuck!” Billy yelped.

Steve grabbed hold of Billy and kissed him, he didn’t know what else to do. He didn’t have the magic words to make Billy relax.

“I’m gonna kill them.” Billy muttered into Steve’s lips.

“You could.” Steve nodded and kissed Billy again.  
  
“I will.” Billy grumbled against Steve’s cheek.

“Uh huh.” Steve gently nipped and kissed his way up Billy’s jaw, and drew gently on his earlobe.

Billy pressed his hands up Steve’s back under his t-shirt feeling the warmth of his skin, and drawing him nearer.

“Or, you could stay here with me.” Steve suggested, tracing his lips over Billy’s neck, tasting his skin with his tongue.

Billy tilted his head back giving Steve better access, he reached down and pulled up the hem of his sweater and slipped out of it and dropped it on the floor.

“Alright.” Billy said, his voice softer and deeper than it had been all night.

Steve stepped forward and ran his fingertips up Billy’s chest, he pressed his thumbs pressing over Billy’s nipples through the fabric of his thermal shirt. Steve’s roving hands eventually rested on Billy’s shoulders and steered him backward till he was seated on the side of the bed. Steve straddled his boyfriend’s lap and folded his arms around his shoulders and kissed him.

They kissed and groped, Steve didn’t stop when Billy twitched and flinched from the sound of crackling fireworks and whistling bottle rockets.

“I’ve got you, baby.” Steve whispered huskily he ran one hand over Billy’s hip and down to the bend of his knee and lifted it up as he laid Billy back.

“Is this good?” Steve asked between kissing and nipping at Billy’s jaw.

“Yeah.” Billy closed his eyes and tilted his head back, he was aching all over, his skin felt electrified, he drew a gasping breath when Steve gave him a particularly sharp bite on his collarbone only to follow it up with a suckling kiss on the stinging flesh.

“Can I take this off?” Steve gripped the sides of Billy’s thermal.

“Yes, wait.” Billy leaned over and turned off the bedside lamp and then laid back again.

Steve pulled off Billy’s shirt, the room was dimly lit by the light bleeding in from the bathroom in the hall. He ran his palms up Billy’s stomach, his fingers feeling the raised flesh of starburst shaped scars. Billy took a trembling breath, his muscle going tight and then slowly releasing all tension. Steve nuzzled Billy’s chest, and pressed his mouth over a nipple.

Billy gasped softly and pressed his fingers into Steve’s hair.

“You’ll tell me when to stop?” Steve asked.

Billy said nothing, just gripped Steve’s hair keeping him close. Steve pressed his tongue over Billy’s nipple and traveled his mouth across Billy’s scarred chest to the opposite one, kissing and nipping tenderly. He felt Billy’s hands grip his hair, and travel down to his shoulders squeezing and stroking. Steve shifted up and kissed Billy deeply. Steve felt Billy’s hand travel down paste waist ofSteve’s boxers and squeezed his cock through the fabric.

Steve pulled away from the kiss and pressed his face in Billy’s neck, he breathed deeply, his eyes closed tightly.

“So, so good.” Steve babbled.

Steve got up on his knees and pulled off his t-shirt.

Billy’s heart was racing, he watched as Steve pushed down his boxers, his cock at attention. Billy licked his lips and ran his index finger down Steve’s stomach, let it dip gently into his navel and then followed the line of dark hair all the way down. He could feel his fingers trembling, but didn’t stop.

Steve reached down and closed his hand around Billy’s gently moving Billy’s fist in a slow stroking motion.

Steve leaned forward and kissed Billy roughly, his kiss was met with equal hunger.

“Take these off?” Steve all but begged as he pulled at Billy’s jeans.

Billy didn’t answer, he only reached down and undid his buckle, and then unzipped his fly. Steve slid down and pulled off Billy’s boots. It wasn’t long before they were both naked and laying embraced on top of the blankets. Steve caressed Billy’s sides his fingers touching the web of scars that covered his torso. Steve traveled his hands over Billy’s stomach, stroked the Vee-shape of his hip bones and gently gnawed on the ball of Billy’s shoulder.

“Ow, ouch.” Billy complained, but knitted his fingers in Steve’s hair keeping him close.

Steve squeezed Billy’s cheeks, pressing their hips firmly together.

“Do you want to fuck me?” Billy asked breathlessly.

“You know I do, _you know_.” Steve said, his whole body ached just hearing Billy ask the question.

Billy bit Steve’s earlobe and sucked on it, and pulled at Steve’s hair, he mauled the side of Steve’s neck, he ran his trembling fingers over Steve’s throat, pressed his thumb over Steve’s Adam’s apple making Steve’s breath catch. Steve squeezed Billy’s ass and pulled up his thighs nestling closer, he felt Billy tense.

“Trust me, trust me.” Steve kissed Billy gently slowing himself and Billy down. Steve lifted himself off of Billy and grabbed his backpack off the bedside table and unzipped it, it had his extra sweater, his tooth brush and his hairspray, but he was looking for the lube he’d had on him for the past four days, hoping maybe they could do some _things_ , but he’d not thought Billy would suggest this. Steve’s heart was pounding in his chest, he looked over at Billy and watched as Billy ran his hand over his face and down his chest, he was watching Steve with glittering eyes, even in the low light they had a preternatural power that held Steve spellbound. Steve crawled onto the bed, and pulled Billy up on his knees he kissed him slowly, wove his long fingers into Billy’s head of messy curls gently pulling at his locks and kissing his lips eliciting deep moans from Billy.

Steve squeezed lube onto his fingers, he could feel Billy’s eyes on him. He reached down between them and wrapped his fingers around Billy’s erect cock and started stroking slowly.

Billy closed his eyes and drew in a deep breath, he felt Steve’s mouth seal over his, his fingers working steadily, his thumb lightly tormenting the head of Billy’s cock.

“Lay back.” Steve whispered.

Billy complied, he was aware of the sound of fireworks firing off outside but it didn’t matter, he didn’t care at all, he released a nervous laugh and heard Steve laugh softly too.

“This is okay?” Steve kissed him gently.

Billy could feel the smile on his boyfriend’s lips. Billy paused, running the words through his mind again, _his boyfriend_ , Billy tittered a laugh and pressed his hand over his mouth turning away from the kiss.

“I like hearing you laugh.” Steve kissed Billy’s neck, his fingers still working, the heat and friction making Billy squirm with pleasure.

“Fuck.” Billy sighed getting lost in the sensation of Steve’s hand stroking and teasing his cock and his lips on Billy’s throat.

“Come here, get on top.” Steve rolled over on his back, his fingers still coiled possessively around Billy’s cock.

“I don’t want to crush you.” Billy said, but then again the thought wasn’t entirely without its appeal.

“Big bad Billy Hargrove, if you’re going to crush me this is the way I want you to do it.” Steve said dreamily.

“Shut up.” Billy said.

Billy could feel himself blushing in the dark, he leaned over and kissed Steve before he could say something else and rested his weight on top of Steve with an uncharacteristic gentleness. Steve hummed pleasurably into the kiss and pulled Billy closer by the back of his thighs, making sure he was snuggly straddling Steve’s hips.

Steve added more lube to his fingers and traced his middle and index fingers down the side of Billy’s cock, over his balls, and slowly along the seam of flesh between his legs till he slid between the crevice of his cheeks.

Billy drew in a slow breath feeling Steve’s slicked fingers gently prodding the tight ring of flesh.

“Touch yourself.” Steve insisted.

Billy did as he was told, his eyes glittering in the slice of light cutting in from the hallway. Steve ran one hand up Billy’s chest and pinched the nipple nearest to his heart, twisting lightly playing with the nub of stiff flesh. Steve worked both fingers in, sliding and pressing, listening for when Billy caught his breath or feeling when up straightened up or rested his weight down against Steve’s fingers.

Billy grunted softly. It felt strange. Billy wasn’t sure he was enjoying the sensation of Steve’s fingers entering his body, but he knew he liked being there with Steve, liked the way it had felt when Steve’s hand was around his cock, the way Steve touched Billy’s chest, pulling at his nipples, it was overwhelming, it made him tremble. Steve made him forget the rest of the world, and instead of making Billy feel sated it made him more ravenous for his pretty boy.

Billy leaned over kissing Steve, he worked himself getting nearer and nearer to the edge of his pleasure, that’s when he felt Steve thrust his fingers in. Billy grunted into the kiss.

“Fuck.” Billy mumbled into Steve’s lips.

Steve rolled over on top, he slid his fingers out and grasped the inside of Billy’s thigh hiking them higher, he guided the tip of his cock and nudged and pressed. Billy tensed beneath him, his knees pressing tightly to Steve’s slim hips, Billy’s back arched slow and tight, like a bowstring.

Steve hummed a soft sound into Billy’s neck, wordless and hungry. Steve gripped Billy’s cheeks and entered him.

“Fuck!” Billy jumped and grabbed hold of Steve’s shoulders, his thighs squeezing against Steve, his muscles clenched around Steve’s cock.

“Easy, easy.…” Steve rolled his hips slowly rutting into Billy.

“Fuck.” Billy complained weakly, and then in a rush of breath said “… _don’t stop_.”

Steve laughed throatily, and kissed Billy’s cheek. Steve’s soft lips trailed kisses up the side of Billy’s face, his tongue darted over the tender skin at the corner of Billy’s eye, catching a salty tear. Steve’s hips rocking steadily.

Billy’s whole body was on fire, he clutched at Steve’s back and pressed his face in Steve’s neck, feeling breathless and dizzy. His cock was hard and aching, Billy reached between them and stroked himself, seeking relief.

“So good, so good…” Steve whispered.

Steve thrust in, a little quick and then slowed again, rocking gently, he heard Billy’s breath catch, heard his lover mumble and curse.

“Ah, fuck, fucking Harrington.” Billy murmured almost affectionately.

Steve felt Billy’s hands grip his hair, he heard Billy’s breath coming faster, Billy squirmed beneath Steve.

“ _Oh, oh, oh… fuck, fuck_.” Billy twisted and shuddered.

Steve kissed Billy quickly, keeping his rhythm steady.

Billy gasped and turned his head and bit Steve’s shoulder, his jaw closing tightly and his arms squeezing Steve closer.

“Is it good, is it good?” Steve panted his question in Billy’s ear.

Billy bit Steve’s jaw, his fingers sliding up into his hair and raking down Steve’s back, “Fuck, fuck, fuck…” Billy babbled in reply, his body taut with pleasure. Steve felt Billy climax against him.

Billy kissed Steve across his lips, turned his head and thrust his tongue in Steve’s mouth, the kiss was wet and hot. Steve returned the kiss, and nipped at Billy’s lip, and jaw. Steve’s hips were still rolling, his cock was still sliding in and out of Billy.

“ _Shit_.” Billy whispered, he felt his breath coming hard again, his cock stiffing, the delicate skin sensitive and aching.

“ _Baby_.” Steve whispered.

Billy gripped Steve’s hair, it had grown damp with sweat. Billy closed his eyes, his body pulsing with pleasure. Steve _wasn’t_ done, he was steadily fucking into Billy, releasing little moans between thrusts into Billy’s ear.

Billy felt his groin tighten again, that aching clench deep down, the pressure of his stiff cock, tender and from tip to shaft. Billy applied the lightest pressure as he closed his hand around himself again and worked his cock, harder and faster this time, unabashedly chasing his pleasure. 

“ _Fuck, fuck-fuck…_ ” Billy’s words melted into one another, he was gasping as Steve moved harder and faster. Billy could feel little shockwaves of sensation rippling through him, he whine and ached, ran his hands over Steve’s chest and pulled and pushed at him, not knowing if was desperate for him to stop or to keep going.

When Steve was sure Billy was was near to spilling, he thrust deeply into his lover one last time, sending Billy over the edge for a second time.

  
Billy pressed his forehead to Steve’s temple. Their breath and sweat commingling.

Steve turned them both till they were both on their sides, he slid his cock out slowly and pressed his hand down around himself, his eyes locked on Billy’s. Steve’s lips were parted, his lids lowered, breath coming quick and hard. Billy felt the wet heat of Steve spilling onto Billy’s cock and thighs. Billy felt boneless and heavy, he rolled himself into Steve’s arms and felt Steve coil around him, his their arms and legs folding around one another.

********

Billy awoke, sore and a little chilled. The fireworks hadn’t stopped yet. He glanced at the clock, it was there were only 12 minutes of the year remaining.He thought about all the things he wanted to do, the promises he’d made to himself. He had promised himself he’d go visit Max, and that if Neil was there, he wasn’t going to let that stop him. He missed her, he wanted to talk to her, tell her he was sorry, for everything, not just the things that happened over the summer. He wanted to get stronger, he wanted to tell Steve he loved him too.

Billy realized he hadn’t hallucinated since he’d ran into Steve at the lake. It seemed like a life time ago now, even though it was only a handful of days, maybe three weeks at most. Billy hoped he was getting better, either way he knew Steve was going to stick around, and make sure that Billy was alright, it was just the kind of person he was. Billy pulled the blankets over them both. Steve lifted his head, and looked around the room.

“Everything alright? did you hear something?” Steve sounded more asleep than awake.

“Everything’s alright, baby.” Billy said, and he meant it.

**Author's Note:**

> Tank the Opossum is a creation of Flippyspoon and lives in this story as a gift to her. Thanks for reading!


End file.
